Friday, April 1, 2016

Disciplined in April + Link Up Reminders

Happy Friday everyone!

On Tuesday, I posted my poor woe is me attitude with eating right now, and so many of you were so lovely and gave me some really good things to think about. But a lot of you agreed with what I said - there is no secret. You have to do it, just do it. Prepare and plan, but just do it.

Alyssa mentioned something about discipline vs motivation and lots of you agreed or said the same thing, and it pretty much blew me away. It really is so true, and I think if I think of it that way, I will succeed.

source
A couple of other people shared this post about abstainers-vs-moderators from Julie at Peanut Butter Fingers, and it really resonated with me as well. I know everyone spouts that everything in moderation is fine, but some of us just don't work well with moderation.

I do agree for the most part that restricting is bad. It will just make you want all the things. However. I also know that right now, I am not good at moderation. I'm just not. The other day (the same day I posted about my eating, for shame!) a girl brought in a full size bag of starburst jellybeans for me. How nice, right? 2 hours later, she came and asked for a handful and I was like.. oh yeah, they are gone. Sorry. I don't do 1 or 2 jellybeans, or even half the bag. No, I'm all or nothing. So right now, I need to be nothing.

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted, within reason, and as long as I exercised consistently, my weight would stay relatively normal. I mean, if I ate well, I'd lose weight, but if I ate bad, at least I wouldn't gain too much. But I have seriously gained over 10lbs since Europe last year. I was cocky that I didn't gain any whilst in Europe, but since then I have been yo-yoing all over the place. I am almost 30lbs heavier than when I moved here in 2012. That is ridiculous!

I know that the scale doesn't define me, yadi yadi yada, but the fact is that I know what the number says when I feel good, and right now, I am not that number and I feel like crap. They go hand in hand. If I start to feel amazing and my clothes start fitting before I get to that number, who cares? I will rejoice. But right now feeling good and getting my weight down on the scale are equally important to me.

The thing is, I have got to stop acting like I am 21. I am obviously not anymore, and my metabolism and all that shit is just not the same, not to mention at 21 I could eat a whole bag of jellybeans and not bat an eye. Now, I feel so sick that I have to lay down. I have to stop treating my body like crap.

I am 29 years old. I have had a messed up body image and attitude towards food for over 15 years. Finally, my mind is in a good spot, my exercise routine is in a good spot, but my eating is not. 2 out of 3 ain't bad in a meatloaf song, but not in life.


Like I said, I don't think restricting is good all of the time, but for a short time, and for someone like me who can make a bag of jellybeans disappear in an hour, it's gotta be done. In April:

- No junk. No candy, chocolate, milkshakes, chips, ice cream, pie, etc etc etc.
- No eating out on my own. When I eat out on my own, for lunch or at home, I never ever ever choose something even remotely healthy. I get a large size, I get dessert, I get an extra bag of chips just in case.. No. It has to stop. I am at least slightly ashamed of eating like a pig around other people, so I don't mind eating out with others as long as it doesn't include candy etc.
- No shopping. Nada. Zilch. Zero.

There are a lot of things I need to work on - smaller portions, more fruits and vegetables, no chick fil a, healthier meals at home etc etc etc. But right now, my candy/junk obsession is out of control and that is my number 1 focus. I also have a weight loss goal, but I don't want to share that because I don't want to hold myself to it and feel like I failed.

So why am I rambling about this? I know I can do this. I know I can. But I needed, or actually I wanted, to share it so that I am putting it out there. I told KC, a few friends, people at work and now I am telling the internet. I can't go back on it now.

Also wanted to remind everyone that the link up for book club is next Tuesday the 5th of April - so if you read  Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes please join us in chatting about it!



Also, next Thursday the 7th of April is the next 'What's New With You' link up with Gretch and I, which you can read about here if you like. Basically, it's a monthly link up where you can chat about what's new with you, what you've been doing or loving this past month, goals you've been working towards, or you can link any old post - doesn't matter as long as you link back to us pretty please.

What's New With You

What is your biggest downfall with eating?

49 comments:

  1. The 3pm slump is my worst pitfall with food. I eat all this hearty stuff all day long then by 3pm I crave sugar and think Oh just one poptart won't hurt!! I need to find a balance that works for me!! Good luck on your journey!! I will definitely be back for the link-ups!!

    Have a great weekend! Melanie | Blog: Toots + Dill

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  2. I think it's good that you recognize what your workout and eating habits are like and make adjustments for those. No one program or "way of doing" is going to work for everyone. So, I think it's smart to research and then choose the things that will work best for you. I hate when people are like "I did this and it's amazing and everyone should do it" because it's just not true. I'm rooting for you girl!!!

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  3. girl this is hitting me hard right now - in a good way! I think i've been such a slacker lately and have just fallen off the wagon and i hate it! maybe we should text each other when we're about to grab the whole bag of candy (gosh i'm not even a super sweets person at heart). i also really need to not spend in april minus my one weekend away. it's hard but we can do it! checking out julie's post now too

    xoxo cheshire kat

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  4. I've got a huge issue with moderation so I usually pre-pack all of my snacks for the week on Sunday night. That way, it's literally all I have to eat at work and I can't open up the bag/box/whatever and get more of it. When I don't do that? Watch out. I'm going to eat the entire bag of whatever my snack is for the week in one day.

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  5. You got this! I think you're smart to focus on one thing as it relates to your healthy eating, the no eating junk business. Figure that out & once that gets easier focus on something else.

    My biggest thing is matching portions. For some reason I think the BF & I's plates should be similarly filled with food. Which usually they should not be. Unfortunately I should be eating less. So, I've been trying to serve myself first, then take the plate to the table or set it behind me before I fill his. UGH.

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  6. I'm the EXACT same way! There are times where I have to be super restrictive because I do exactly what you said - all or nothing. In the same boat right now, where I need to buckle down and cut out all the junk with the hopes that once I get into better habits I can do the moderation thing ;) lol Glad to see I'm not the only one! xx Have a great weekend lady!

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  7. This totally resonated with me...my birthday was two weeks ago but I'm still using it as an excuse to splurge on cupcakes and other sweets! I've been making strides to increase my exercise but I know that healthier eating is what I really need to tackle. Thanks for sharing...you're definitely not alone in this!

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  8. I have so much to say about this post-- it would probably be a million paragraphs long, but basically this is SO me too. Don't even get me started on the candy and thinking I'll just have a piece or two or a serving size... using MFP does help a little bit-- like seeing that ONE twizzler (pull & peel, but still) is 100 calories. Who eats just one?? Basically I kept reading this entire thing and thinking I could have wrote most of it myself because I'm the same way so, so much. But I am soo proud of how dedicated you've been with working out & even if you've gained weight, which is such a sucky feeling, you really do look amazing!

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  9. Its such a struggle. I feel you girl.
    Its harder as those years creep on too - the body just wants to sizzle out. Gotta keep it going.
    My biggest downfall is having junk around. I went & bought Cadbury eggs the day after Easter - 3 of them. I usually buy like 50 (wish I was joking) while on clearance. I ate all 3 in one day. After going a whole season of not having any... just proves to me I cant have the junk around me or I'll eat it. Period.

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  10. Yes! This post is spot on! Discipline is going to get you there. You know you can do it because you've clearly done it with the exercising part. So you've got this!

    Also, I'm slowly learning to be a moderator. By nature I am abstainer. It's better for me to just not have it at all than for me to attempt to have "just one bite". But the more I've practice portion control in the past year, the better I've become at having some things in moderation. But it has definitely been a process to get here and I'm not perfect at it by any means. Anyway, I'm excited to hear how this month goes for you and also how you feel by May 1st! :)

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  11. YES YES YES! I am doing what I have deemed "No-pril" so - no shopping, no extras at Target, no fast food, no eating out...nada. Well save for one day that I know I will be eating out but it was planned two months ago and I'm not gonna cancel. lol

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  12. Yep. I'm like a wild animal going through my kitchen about an hour before any given meal time. I am completely unstoppable. I found a secret stash of marshmallows yesterday that I'd hidden from myself in a fit of self awareness, and I ate the whole bag in one morning. Ridiculous. Of course, I then had a sugar induced headache all afternoon and I only had myself to blame! I used to think I could do moderation but nope, apparently not. I have 0 wisdom to share but I'm fighting the same battles as you, and cheering you on from my side of the ocean!

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  13. I wrote down exactly what I wanted to make sure I didn't do in April and the big one on that list was NO SODA in April!! I was nodding my head in agreement reading this entire post! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston

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  14. YES!!!! I have the same goals for April. Right now in my life moderation doesn't happen so I am abstaining. I am doing a Whole30 in April and I am trying to continue my no purchasing that I did in March (there were a few exceptions but I want to say no in April). Have a great weekend! Jess at Just Jess

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  15. Um yes. I love the motivation vs. discipline image and the whole idea. Wow, but crazy and so true. I never really thought of it that way. I definitely need to read more into the abstainers vs. moderators... I have trouble with both for sure! I think accountability of posting things like this on blogs or sharing it with friends etc. can be so helpful. A work friend and I have been texting/emailing recently about our workouts has been really helpful in getting me on track/motivated/focusing on discipline. I love it. I know you can do it. :) It just takes practice. While I agree that 2/3 isn't good enough long term, getting to 2/3 is a big deal. Don't get complacent of course, but do remember how hard you worked to change your body image thoughts and working out habits! It's difficult stuff to do. But it should also remind you that you CAN do 3/3 too. :) XO - Alexandra

    Simply Alexandra: My Favorite Things

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  16. OH, and I requested that book. And just got it... Monday. UGH. The worst. We'll see, but it seems doubtful that I can start and finish it over the weekend. I'm already reading several others. I do plan to read it eventually though. WHOMP WHOMP. XO

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  17. I never knew how lucky I was in my early 20s (and teens for that matter) to have the metabolism I did! I think portion control is my biggest downfall, why can't we just eat whatever we want and not worry about it anymore!? It's not fair!

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  18. I am the exact same way with eating. To the point that people at work now joke about my shitting eating habits now versus when they first met me. For some reason my motivation and my discipline do not match. At all.

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  19. YES! Loving this post, as I've been struggling with this as well. I tend to not just enjoy something, I over indulge and it totally needs to stop. You've got this gurlie! Cheers to discipline <3
    Green Fashionista

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  20. You with the jelly beans is me with sour gummy worms. SERIOUSLY. I cannot just have a few and then put it away. I literally found a bag hiding in my closet (from my boyfriend) and immediately got way too excited and inhaled it in like 8 minutes. I usually eat pretty healthy during the day but then 1-2 hours after dinner I'm like "it's go time.. where's the candy?!" Ahhhh. You got this. I got this. We both got this.

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  21. I'm proud of you and want to help keep you accountable while I do a similar discipline game with my guy for post-Easter lent! Thank you for telling the internet!! :)

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  22. This is a very thought provoking post, and I really enjoyed the abstainer vs. moderator post as well. I think I am actually both of those depending on the item, but I guess that's your point as well that you must abstain from certain things completely to control it. I am mostly a moderator but have learned I'm better off abstaining from things like ice cream. I only have it once per year (4th of July) and that's it, because it is delicious and does NOT fill me up at all and I could eat a gallon in one sitting, so I'm just better off avoiding it if I want to maintain weight. Discipline is also key, and I fully believe it's like a muscle that you must develop if you want to succeed (and aren't naturally thin). I appreciate you sharing your thoughts and journey on all this with us. Very interesting!

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    1. An PS. funny that she mentioned ice cream in her article too! I guess that's a common downfall for people!

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  23. I love the distinction between motivation and discipline. Mind. Blown. I lack discipline when it comes to food and exercise and it is something that I am going to work now. I may wish that I could laze about and eat whatever I want but I can't. I am slowly developing a more healthier mindset around food and agree that some people respond better to abstaining versus moderation. I tend to do better with moderation because restriction causes my brain to freak out and then I binge. :) You can do this, Kristen! And I LOVED The Year of Yes!

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  24. I love that about motivation vs. discipline. Makes a lot of sense! I hope your month of going cold turkey works for you!

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  25. OK - you disciplined yourself into working out regularly. I think you can use this same discipline on avoiding the crap-food for a month. If it helps, I give you permission to yell at anyone who offers you crap-food (pick an Aussie phrase and have at it). If anything, they'll think you're crazy and won't offer you anything ever again -- so that would help, right? You've got this and the internet will hold you to it! :)

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  26. Ahhh yes, that Alyssa always has some wise words. It makes total sense that it is more discipline than motivation that I have a problem with sometimes. Ok. Most of the time. I went to Walgreen's to get make up wipes after lunch today and their clearance candy was 70% off and I came out with a bag of jelly beans and a thing of peeps. You know that shit wont last. For shame Nadine. For shame!!! I know you totally got this month. And if you are struggling, me and the ahole bros are here for ya!!!

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  27. I think the thing about moderation vs. absenting is SO TRUE. I can hold off on eating the jelly beans all day, but once the bag is open forget about it! I can't just eat ONE. Oh man. I cannot allow myself to buy ice cream or I will eat an entire half gallon in three days. This has happened multiple times! Shame.

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  28. Sometimes knowing your vices and trying to stay away from them is the best way to lose weight. My downfall all the time is chips and salsa, so we try really hard to not go out for Mexican food because I will stuff my face, I can't help it! You can do it though! Sometimes getting started is the hardest part!

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  29. I definitely get that it's hard to figure out what moderation is because that can be different with everyone. I feel I'm decent about moderating when I feel like it. I'm terrible at going out for food and making healthy choices, I'm like you and order extra "just in case"...I didn't need it, but alas I ate it. It's a constant battle so you do what you need to do to feel better!

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  30. Biggest downfall with eating... 1) Portion distortion. What I *think* is a portion is sometimes 2-3 portions. 2) I have trouble with the moderation thing, too. I'm really almost more of an all or nothing kind of gal. If I abstain, I do really, really well. Once I indulge, well, it's like opening Pandora's Box and I fall off the wagon.

    Good luck to you. I've struggled with my weight my entire life. I've just resolved that it is a battle I will constantly have to fight. Keep fighting the good fight.

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  31. when i first started in 2012, i stayed away from all sweets for a good 2.5yrs. it took me a very long time to stop thinking about it and about 6 months to develop the discipline to not shovel all of it into my mouth. i think it's ok to restrict while you build the discipline and once you have it, then allow it in moderation. like now, i will eat dessert but for me, it has to be worth it and when it is, i eat the fuck out of it. sometimes i'll order two but only because i only have dessert once a year so give me my moment, dammit! LOL

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  32. I'm an all or nothing girl, too, so I hear you. My sweet tooth is a major problem...

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  33. Girl, you can do it!! It's hard but rewarding when you see and feel the results. Like it's hard for me to keep up the workouts but then I remind myself how good I'll feel afterwards. Good luck girl! You got this.

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  34. Here's to an awesome month ahead! I'm sure you can achieve your goals and more!

    Not eating out on your own is a great idea because it means you're having to be more mindful about what you're eating on the average day - but can still enjoy social meals as well!

    I don't know if I have a downfall with eating as I eat a pretty balanced diet, however, I do have a sweet tooth! I just know how to balance the sweets with my veggies because I can never get enough of those either ;)

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  35. it's all about having healthy snacks on deck - grapes, hummus, almonds! keeps me from making bad choices. now if I could just get my butt to the gym ;)

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  36. You got this girl! My major downfall is eating out at lunch time.n We do cook healthy low-carb dinners throughout the week so that helps maintain weight but eating out needs to stop!! I also keep healthy snacks at my desk and eat lots of veggies and salads.

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  37. This is a great post! I don't do well with moderation either. My problem is that I give up on something cold turkey, do really well for a month or two, then think I can handle it again and I.can.not. I have to remember just to give it up forever. My worst time of day is evening snacks. I love popcorn or chips or sweets at night while watching tv and that is so unhealthy. You got this, girl!!

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  38. Ooh I love that Shonda's book is next on your list! I've been wanting to read that one! Junk food has been a major downfall for me too. Sometimes I get on a roll and think oh just one.. and then I'm back in a rut. Gah.

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  39. I think my downfall is quantity. If I stopped when I got full, then I'd be a lot further a long!

    7% Solution

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  40. I cannot even begin to tell u how much I needed this post right now!

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  41. Girlfriend, I love how open and candid you are with your struggles in this dept. I'm with you on no restriction, but I also get that sometimes that it's necessary. I sure hope you succeed with your goals this month and get to a place where you feel great all the way around!

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  42. This post could not have come at a better time. I can be SO motivated sometimes, but I lack discipline. Like you, I'm kind of all or nothing. And I struggle with working out. I don't like it. I'd rather be doing something else. But it's so important.

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  43. This post could not have come at a better time. I can be SO motivated sometimes, but I lack discipline. Like you, I'm kind of all or nothing. And I struggle with working out. I don't like it. I'd rather be doing something else. But it's so important.

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  44. I'm so glad what I said was helpful to you. I totally agree with this (obviously)—better to discipline yourself than rely on fickle motivation.
    I heard about abstaining vs. moderation when I used to listen to Gretchen Rubin's podcast (which I had to stop because her sister's voice made my skin crawl). I think that it's crazy to think people are either one or the other. It depends on the thing. With alcohol, I'm a moderator, but I used to have to be an abstainer to not go overboard. With chips and guac, I have no chance of moderating. You have to find your own unique balance—and I think you've been able to do that, which is definitely the first step and a really important one. With that foundation, I know you're going to do amazing. Accountability partner right here if you ever need! <3

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  45. You already know I totally agree with everything you are saying here. It's like I'm reading my own diary, because I could write these exact thoughts. I like that definition of the difference between motivation and discipline. I haven't really thought of it that way before but it really resonates with me. I have to stop waiting for the motivation because it ain't coming. I just need to do it. And yes to the moderation - no moderation for me either. Dare I say you've inspired me to get disciplined here? ;)

    Also, found your blog too late to see your online book club for this month, but will definitely try and join in next! I think I'm the only person in the world now who hasn't read Year of Yes, haha.

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  46. Kristen, I love you so hard for this post. Seriously. Huge internet hugs right now. I felt like I was reading my own thoughts. If there's one thing I've learned about blogging, resonating is key - and this resonated with me DEEP.

    I get it because I'm in the same place. My body is very aware that it is now 31 and that eating an entire pizza for dinner is no longer acceptable. My brain knows it (for the most part) but then I go and do it anyway. My body knows that I need to be doing activity of some form (yoga, walk, weights, SOMETHING) every day. My brain says, we have to do this and this and that and this and you can start tomorrow. I've been waiting for "tomorrow" for a long time.

    And the images you posted about moderation v. discipline? WOW! I had never even thought about that but seeing them and reading it - total light bulb moment. Thank you for that.

    I've been tracking my food (seriously) in MFP since Monday and I already feel better. It's been 3 days but I don't feel as sluggish and I know that I'm doing right by me.

    If you ever need to vent, need/want encouragement, or just want to bounce ideas, MESSAGE ME! I will happily walk this road with you.

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  47. This was awesome. And the whole time I'm agreeing with everything you are saying . . . I can eat the whole bag of jelly beans. I can do really well in MOST areas . . . why not eating? Or hell, why am I too lazy to properly wash and moisturize my face at night? It's not that hard. Mind over matter . . . easier said than done. But with a little encouragement and knowing we aren't alone . . . we can do it! Go girl!

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  48. I completely agree with the discipline, not motivation philosophy, but I don't know how to get to a place of discipline when it comes to food. I'm also in the camp of needing to stop eating like I'm 21! I do think motivation plays a part at first but ultimately it has to turn into discipline or it won't stick. I don't know, I'm really no help but I hope this month is going well for you!

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