Expat Conversations

We all know I like to call out Americans for saying stupid shit about Australia, so I thought I would entertain you all (hopefully) with stupid shit I have said, or things I've not understood.

Setting the scene: driving to Illinois, we pass a field with animals in it.
MIL: Oh look, buffalo.
Me: wait. Those are real?
KC & MIL: laughing so hard they had to pull over.

KC walking around the house frantically looking for something.
KC: do we have any rubbing alcohol?
Me: there is some bacardi on top of the fridge?
KC: wtf?
Me: wtf is rubbing alcohol?

Standing there while KC chooses cereal in the grocery store (in 2012, mind)
Strange lady: Hello
Me: I think you have me confused with someone else
KC laughing so hard he drops the cereal.

KC and I trying to cook together.
KC: It says to broil it for 10 minutes.
Me: is that like boil? So I need to boil it? Are you sure?
KC: okay, you can cook it yourself.
Me: okay, looks like we're getting pizza.

First time I ate out in an American restaurant.
Waitress: What would you like as your sides?
Me: Um, no sides.
Waitress: you get two sides.
Me: on top of what already comes with the burger?
Waitress: You get the burger and two sides.
Me: But it has fries pictured, does that mean I get fries and two sides?
Waitress: So you want fries as one side, what else do you want?
Me: Fries are fine.

First time eating at the cheesecake factory.
Person I was with: want to eat at the cheesecake factory?
Me: No, I want real food.
Person: What's that supposed to mean?
Me: I want a meal, not cheesecake.
Person: They have food.
Me: Not just cheesecake?
Person: No.
Me: Well that's misleading.

This was via email / facebook when KC and I were doing the long distance thing.
KC: Got to see a man about a horse.
Me: you're buying a horse?
KC: no.
Me: but you said -
KC: it's a saying.
Me: what does it mean? are you getting a horse? 

Guy at work asked me to look into something and send him the product info
Guy: Hey Kristen, is this feet or inches?
Me: Inches.
Guy: But you used ' instead of ".
Me: um. Is there a difference?

The other weekend KC was watching a football game and lost his mind over a goal scored. As always, he wanted to talk to me about it, watch this replay, watch this replay! Then he explains it. I'm paraphrasing, but here's what happened:
KC: Oh my god, Michigan and Michigan state something something insert football talk here.
Me: Um. Wait, what?
KC: Michigan State scored in the last whatever, blah blah. I hate Michigan.
I had seen the replay, and noticed the white team guys said Michigan, but it was the green and yellow uniforms that scored the goal, so I was super confused, and said so.
KC is getting frustrated: what don't you understand?!
Me: Well you said Michigan scored, but Michagan is the white team but I saw the green and yellow team score the goal.
Finally realising, KC says: It's Michigan vs Micighan State.
Me: There are 2 Michigans? I thought Michigan was a state.
KC: schools. They are two different colleges playing each other.
Me: ohhhhhhhh.
Internally: there are two schools named Michigan and Michigan State? That's not confusing at all.

Basically, I do a lot of this:

Yeah, sure, I totally understand these words.

Linking up with Kathy & Nadine.