I'm too old for petty women. You are not in high school anymore, please stop acting like it.
I'm too old to bounce around at skyzone. I seriously could feel my knees saying you want us to dislocate?!
I'm too old to start a night out at 10pm.
I'm too old to binge eat the entire candy aisle in one night. I can do it, but I'll be sorry.
I'm too old to have zero money in savings or have an overdrawn account. I used to overdraw the shit out of my account, and I was all like what is savings? Now I'm like savings is travel money. No savings, no travel.
I'm too old to waste brain power or precious book reading time on stupid petty stuff. Nope nope nope.
I'm too old to drink alcohol I don't want to drink. I used to do shots of bourbon or tequila, drink whatever was handed to me and it tasted like crap. Now, I shall drink a shitty drink of my own choosing, thank you very much.
I'm too old to even think about laying out or going to a tanning bed. Why would I willingly give myself skin cancer?!
I'm too old to be sober in an overcrowded bar surrounded by drunk people. If I'm your designated driver, or not drinking, guess what. I'm staying home. I cannot stand being sober around drunk people bumping into me. So. Annoying.
Trust me, I know. Because when I've had a few too many, guess what I do? So annoying.
I'm too old to wait in line for food. I'm not waiting for food that is apparently amazing and life changing. Nope. I'll wait 5-10 minutes, but 45-60? You're kidding yourself. Nope. I'm hungry now.
I'm too old to keep up with everything. Yeah, I can handle snapchat but no more, okay? My brain has no more room for new information.
I'm too old for general admission (floor) tickets. Nope, please give me a seat, my back and knees are hurting just thinking about it.
I'm too old to need to be surrounded by people all the time. I quite like alone time, thank you very much, and I know it's limited if children are in the future.
Of course, I know I am not 'too old' for any of these things, but I am old enough that I can choose not to do them, which is the best part of being an adult.
What are you 'too old' for?