Monday, November 9, 2015

Stuff I'm too old for

Sometimes I catch myself thinking (or saying) I'm too old for this. Now, I think you're as old as you feel and blah blah you can do what you want, but sometimes, just sometimes, I think to myself Nope. Here are some examples:

I'm too old for petty women. You are not in high school anymore, please stop acting like it.


I'm too old to bounce around at skyzone. I seriously could feel my knees saying you want us to dislocate?!

I'm too old to start a night out at 10pm.


I'm too old to binge eat the entire candy aisle in one night. I can do it, but I'll be sorry.

I'm too old to have zero money in savings or have an overdrawn account. I used to overdraw the shit out of my account, and I was all like what is savings? Now I'm like savings is travel money. No savings, no travel.


I'm too old to waste brain power or precious book reading time on stupid petty stuff. Nope nope nope.

I'm too old to drink alcohol I don't want to drink. I used to do shots of bourbon or tequila, drink whatever was handed to me and it tasted like crap. Now, I shall drink a shitty drink of my own choosing, thank you very much.


Let me tell you, those drinks were not cheap. But they were amazing, and I'd rather a good drink that cost a bit more than a crappy cheap one.

I'm too old to even think about laying out or going to a tanning bed. Why would I willingly give myself skin cancer?!

I'm too old to be sober in an overcrowded bar surrounded by drunk people. If I'm your designated driver, or not drinking, guess what. I'm staying home. I cannot stand being sober around drunk people bumping into me. So. Annoying.


Trust me, I know. Because when I've had a few too many, guess what I do? So annoying.

I'm too old to wait in line for food. I'm not waiting for food that is apparently amazing and life changing. Nope. I'll wait 5-10 minutes, but 45-60? You're kidding yourself. Nope. I'm hungry now.

I'm too old to keep up with everything. Yeah, I can handle snapchat but no more, okay? My brain has no more room for new information.


I'm too old for general admission (floor) tickets. Nope, please give me a seat, my back and knees are hurting just thinking about it.

I'm too old to need to be surrounded by people all the time. I quite like alone time, thank you very much, and I know it's limited if children are in the future.



Of course, I know I am not 'too old' for any of these things, but I am old enough that I can choose not to do them, which is the best part of being an adult.

What are you 'too old' for?

75 comments:

  1. I feel you on every single one of these. I was just thinking about things I am too old for this weekend too. Going out at 10 or later? Ha! I'm usually ready to be home by like 10. Just thinking about being out later is making me tired. And yes to everything about the bar and alcohol. <3, Pamela Sequins & Sea Breezes

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  2. I love this, I feel too old for all of these too. I much like my quiet time, rather drink at home than pay $10 for one drink when i can buy a bottle of wine for that, geez. Haha! I remember when we used to start getting ready at 10pm and now, nope not happening.

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  3. Ha seriously, going to a bar sober, just not happening!

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  4. I love this post girl! I feel like I can relate to all of them! No time for petty people (ugh, the worst!), or just drinking drinks to drink--give me a good one any day, instead of 5 cheap gross ones, and I'm especially with you on being at a crowded bar, sober, getting pushed around. No thank you! Loved this list! P.S. love the pic of you and those yummy drinks! :)

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  5. Ha oh no I agree with all of this! I am too old!! haha Of course I've always felt too old so that's nothing new for me lol

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  6. Love this post! 10pm is not a time to go out... it's a perfect bedtime in my world ;)

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  7. Totally agree with the not drinking crappy drinks! Sometimes I still forget and I regret it the next day! And why is that grown people can still be so petty and high school about things? You'd think that they'd learn!

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  8. i so regret the fact that i never used sunscreen growing up. i went into tanning beds every year so i can tan in the sun? omg. i know. regrets.

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  9. Love this! Reminds me of an episode of How I Met Your Mother (Murtaugh - season 4 episode 19 if you're interested)

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  10. Lol yes. I used to overdraw my account soo often, I got kicked out of my bank...and did not have a bank account from like 21-23. I'm not even kidding. And for like, one more drink at the bar. I'd be like "oh yeah this drink is totally going to be worth the $30 overdraft charge." WHAT?!! I actually used to think I had a drinking problem....but now you would have to beg me to go out to a bar. Or even drink at home. If I even have one beer at home now, I'm like, "hey I'm going to bed bye." And oh my god, tanning beds. WHAT>!!? Thank god we grow up right?

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  11. I thought your first one said Pretty Woman, like the movie. I was all like why is she too old for that movie?!!? Then I reread and figured it out. Mondays are hard. I am so with you on being too old to drink shitty alcohol. I used to drink whatever anyone handed me if it was free or I was fine with whatever shot my friends wanted to do, but not anymore. Drinking something I don't like is a good way to guarantee I will be throwing up shortly.

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  12. I was listening to a song this weekend and it said something about showing up at a bar at 11:30 and I was thinking, "I'm in bed at 11:30. Who goes out then?"
    I am awful at snapchat. I always look at the things, but rarely ever actually USE it.
    The last concert I had pit tickets and seat tickets so I stayed in the pit for what I wanted to see and then went and sat down for the rest. I too need a seat! I cannot stand the whole time and then have drunk people sloshing all around me. Just no thanks.

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  13. Preach girl preach!! I'm too old to start my night out at 10:00 PM too..I just can't!! I also can't stand being in over crowded places - there is no need for it haha!! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston

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  14. I am with you on almost all of these...I never mind being a designated driver (read: my husband has a hard time being DD) if we're at a house party, but I won't go somewhere super crowded & loud totally sober. Not fun! And my bedtime is like 9:00 so midnight is pretty much my upper limit on ending a night out Haha!!! Another thing I am too old for is super uncomfortable shoes unless it's a special occasion :)

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  15. Yes to pretty much all of this. I'm too old to go out anywhere past 9:30pm, that's the time when I'm cuddled up in bed with a book. When I was younger I would be willing do drink any kind of liquor but now I don't like anything strong, just some tasty white wine :) Oh, and I'm too old for snapchat.. and maybe even twitter...

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  16. PREACH! I love this list, such a good read! Yes to being too old to drink, I drink like once every 6 months now and I had a huge margarita on Friday that left me with a headache on Saturday..I was like I am officially old ha. Totally agree with the tanning bed one, I am taneroxic so thank goodness for self tanner or I'd still be burning my skin in that awful bed. & yes to being too old to keep up with things..I just got snapchat like last month and I didn't know what "on fleek" was till like October ha!
    Linds @ Not A Mom

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  17. Same. I swear I could have written your post. Especially the tanning. I use to lay in the tanning bed almost every day, and then lay outside too. After having three places removed and having ugly scars, I'm definitely too old.

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  18. I feel you on all of these things. Especially tanning beds. I wish I could go back and punch myself for ever getting in one

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  20. I love this list! Have you seen Lethal Weapon at all? Every time I come across something I feel im too old for I can't help but think of danny glover saying "Im too old for this shit!"

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  21. It blows my mind that people still actively lay out. I'm like hat on, SPF 70 and can I wear an outfit that covers me from head to toe out in the sun? Skin cancer is no joke and neither are wrinkles. I've seen women my age who don't take care of their skin and it's scary. This is the best list girl. I seriously was nodding along and going yup to every single one of them!

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  22. hahah ALL of these things -- esp the "starting a night out at 10pm" nope. im usually in bed by then. whomp whomp. xo jillian - cornflake dreams

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  23. I so love this...& if you are too old, then I'm ancient.
    jumping on a trampoline - not only is it knees for me, but hello bladder that is old... no other comment needed there :)
    I actually skipped yesterday & realized how bad it hurt my knee. I had a moment of sadness

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  24. LOL all of this! My sister invited me out for her 21st next week and it's starts at 10, I was like uhhh I'll stay for like an hour, I'm too old for that! and I don't really drink much anymore either.

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  25. Hhaha yes! I am definitely too old to be sober in a room full of drunks... and always have been. Especially at concerts... where I pretty much always have to be non- GA as well. I'm too observant whether or not I drink and I see EVERYTHING going on around me. Sketch-city. I agree on the savings too. Saving money = future house/travel money. That's all good! I'm too old for co-worker/workplace drama... and trying to walk around in shoes that are not comfortable. :) XO - Alexandra

    Simply Alexandra: My Favorite Things

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  26. I heard someone talking about tanning the other day when I was waiting for my friend at lunch. I wanted to be like ummmmm dont you know better?? Yikes!!! And I am too old to start a night at 8pm yet alone 10pm. LOLOLOL. And I refuse to eat or drink nasty shit that I dont like. Period. Just no!

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  27. If you think you are old, then I'm like the elderly blogger. haha. I totally agree with you on so many things. I'm so over going out at 10pm, I'm way too old for that. But I will be honest, sometimes I still do. haha then I regret it. And I totally cannot be sober and around drunk people. I need to be part of the party too.

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  28. Yes to this! I know I'm old because not only do I do/feel all these things, I give zero fucks if anyone has a problem with it.
    I can't believe I ever used to willingly tan my skin. Now I'm like GIVE ME ALL THE SUNSCREEN. I got pretty tan this summer just from being outside running and biking (even though I wore lots of sunscreen) and I was legitimately sad about how tan I was.
    And I need LOTS of alone time too. That's the part that scares me the most about having a kid, like you mean they're around ALL the time?!

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  29. I'm too old for trampolines too. Adam wants to go to this trampoline park and all I can think about s my poor back getting beat up.

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  30. Love this post idea! I might have to steal it and link back to you.

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  31. hahahaha this spoke to me on so many levels!! I'm a happy hour kind of girl. Like to be tipsy and in the bed by 10pm. And I agree, I'm perfectly fine with being alone. Thank you so much. lol

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  32. Can I just co-sign you on all of these?! And as much as I love going to concerts, I get overwhelmed just thinking about the floor area. Give me a seat with a view please :)

    Green Fashionista

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  33. Ugh General Admission. The worst! I am definitely too old for going out in heels. No thank you.

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  34. this list is everything. i think i agree with it all. I'm often saying "gosh i'm too old for ALL of this" regularly. ha. especially when it comes to a good drink. worth it!

    xoxo cheshire kat

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  35. Yes yes yessss!! I laughed out loud at the Skyzone one because Nick and I have been contemplating going there, but we keep going back and forth on if we're too old for it - and YUP! Also, seriously too old for loud crowded bars. When our friends were here a couple of weekends ago for Homecoming and we were out at our favorite college bars, I was like I hate this I just want to go home and play with my dog lol. The best part about being older though is that I honestly don't care what anyone else thinks and I just do what I want!

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  36. I'm with you on EVERY single one of these. I pretty much am too old for anything on Friday nights. Like hello, I just worked all week.... you think I want to come home and shower and get ready again and GO SOMEWHERE?! No way, my netflix and pizza will be welcoming me. I've also just embraced my fair skin and can be satisfied knowing I'm not fake-baking it like I did in high school (UGH!)

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  37. I can't even remember the last time I started a night out at 10. We were leaving a wedding last month as people were standing in line to go to the bars next door. lol
    I just started tanning again last week. I know, I KNOW. It's ONLY for the wedding... I need to have some color for our wedding related activities and since I'll be wearing white at them, I'm not getting a spray because it ALWAYS rubs off - on black it doesn't matter but on white I'm not taking any chances, especially for my WEDDING DRESS. I feel gross but it must be done. lol

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  38. I'm working on a post "Things That Are Older Than Me" because I have been feeling so old lately so definitely yes to this entire list. I am too old for drama and crowded bars and all of it. I'm also too old to be friends with people someone else feels like I "should be" friends with and who I just don't like.

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  39. haha I agree with quite a few of these! But I'll still drink crappy drinks if someone else is buying. I've had a hard line 'no shot rule' since the day after the bar exam when I had 13 shots of Jameson. But other than that, I'll drink it. Cheap beer, sugary hangover inducing drinks, super hoppy craft beer I hate the taste of - I'll take em all if I'm not paying!

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  40. I can relate to so many of these! Especially the starting a night out at 10 pm. I remember when that was "early." These days if the night out isn't starting by like 7 count me out. Jammies are on by 8 around here. Also the same with being sober around drunk people. Nope. Can't handle it.

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  41. Hahaha yes to so many of these! Esp the going out late and drinking a ton. 10 p.m. is PJ time :)

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  42. YES to all of this! All of it! I'm way too old for cheap wine; I don't need a $50 bottle, but your Yellow Tail is nasty. I get exactly two (maybe 3 with a full meal) glasses before I'm hung over these days (actually, these days I get one a week because I'm knocked up STILL) so damn shawty, make those glasses count and make them delicious! I'm not going to any concert that I have to stand at, I'm not going to any bars that take away the seating after a certain hour, and I'm not waiting 30 mins just to be seated for a meal. Neither is my toddler, so that works out pretty great.

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  43. Oh my goodness, Skyzone is a serious work out. I leave absolutely winded every single time. One of my friends dislocated her hip there... she hasn't been back since. ;)

    I'm with you on being over pettiness. Honestly I think I was pretty much always over it. But now I really don't put up with it.

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  44. Yes to all of these! I'm with you on waiting for food especially. We went to a burger place a few months ago (Food Network called it the best burger in America, but who cares? lol), and they told us the wait was THREE HOURS. I won't even wait an hour for food, but there is no food in this world that is worth waiting three hours for!

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  45. Um, being sober in a bar/club full of drunkies is the absolute worst - I have (unofficially) been designated the DD more times than I can count, and I get so. friggen. annoyed. I literally can't handle it anymore. And, amen to petty girls/people - we're adults now people, act like it!

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  46. Ahahaha I saw the title of this post and my first thought was "oh yay this will be a funny one." Didn't disappoint! Yes, almost nothing more annoying than being the sober one in a crowd of drunks. I'm also too old for petty women and cattiness. GTFO here with that!

    Staci
    www.missbloodymary.com

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  47. Agreed agreed agreed!!! On all counts. Also whenever I go to a concert or sporting event I'm just crossing my fingers that everyone in front of us won't stand the whole time. WE HAVE SEATS FOR A REASON, PEOPLE!

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  48. Girl, AMEN. Never again with the gross drinks/shots just because they're cheap/free. I'll drink what I please and pay for my alcohol like a damn grown up, right?? And I completely agree about tanning or laying out without SPF. Not happening.
    The exception to waiting in line for food I have to make is this amazing ramen place in the city. I wouldn't wait if I couldn't drink while I waited, but standing at the bar for ~90 minutes is actually worth it at this restaurant, no lie.
    Same about keeping up with things. Snapchat was the last new thing for me I think. No periscope, no vine, I'm out.

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  49. LOVE THIS. I have one about Snapchat in my Confessions post later this week. Can't handle all the social media!!! I won't wait for food either, but mostly because I'm with kids. Nevertheless, I'm too old to wait 15 min for water or someone to freakin' greet me when I sit down at a restaurant. Sorry, I used to be a waitress and THAT is unacceptable, especially without an apology. Where has good costumer service gone???? Also too old for being out in the cold or out in the heat, LOL.

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  50. Ahahaha!! I love this post and was very pleasantly surprised by the content after seeing the title. I have to admit you had me worried that we were going to be in a fight because you were going to say you'e too old for shorts or some other ridiculous nonsense. Instead I was on board with all of your points. Even Snapchat...you know I love it but it is starting to exhaust me. I'm changing my MO with that one just so it works for me rather than making me feel like I HAVE to keep up with every minute of everyone else's day.

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  51. I'm totally with you on starting the night at 10pm! I want to be in jammies by then! I also don't think I can keep up with anything else...I barely got on board with snapchat!

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  52. Amen! Laughing at the floor tickets....my back and legs get annoyed with me every time...I definitely can't keep doing that to myself.

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  53. Yes to all of these! Although, I'm new to the whole drinking thing so I'm still finding my way through the crap to the good stuff. Also, can they please just stop inventing new forms of social media? My head hurts and there aren't enough hours in the day!

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  54. haha can I just say I basically agree 100% with every single one of these??!!

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  55. I laughed all through this, thinking to myself, "Been there, done that..." You will find that as you continue on your life's journey that this list will keep growing! Hilarious read! I enjoyed it.

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  56. I agree with the last commenter: stop inventing new forms of social media. And new kids' shows. I'm sick of trying to keep up with that stuff.
    And I love the last gif. Makes me want to rewatch Parks and Rec. SO TRUE.

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  57. I can't start the night at 10 either. Some friends want to see midnight movies, and I just can't anymore. It totally ruins the next day...

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  58. Yesiree: "I shall drink a shitty drink of my own choosing, thank you very much."

    I'm too old for snapchat. Ha!

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  59. I'm too old to start a night out at 10pm. <<<--- Okay, last week Jordan went with his sister and dad to an OU football game. He got home around 8:00, and he said, "We had to stop on the way and drop my sister off at a bonfire party." And I was like, "Who goes to an even that STARTS this late?" Then I looked at the clock and realized what time it was. Not really that late at all....

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  60. I have been too old for starting a night out at 10 pm for years!!! I am all about happy hour now! And I do not tolerate drunk people well if I am sober either! Just wait until you are pregnant...

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  61. haha so many of these - going to be sad but I've been too old for most of this shit for way too long! Except waiting for food - if it's amazing I think I have more patience now :)

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  62. Love this! Yes to all of these! I am too old especially for more than 2 drinks and to be around 21 year olds- pretty much why we stay home and watch Netflix on the weekends!

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  63. I love this post! I can relate to so many - esp waiting for a table a restaurant. Haven't they've heard of hangry? It a real thing!

    ~Ashley @ A Cute Angle
    acutelifestyle.blogspot.com

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  64. Um I love this!! I have been too old to drink since about 21 though when I had my first son lol! I'll have a glass of wine here and there. Yes to no tanning!! Thankfully my tanning stage was very short lived I'd say two years tops and I was never obsessive (going everyday or anything). The picture is gorgeous of you and your friend! I just love your hair! Also cherish your alone time, because I pretty much have none now haha. Unless I stay up late which is like impossible for me. Have a great week!

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  65. Yes to the general admission! Cory and I used to go to concerts like every weekend! I could stand for hours and now? I'm like "is there a seat?" If not, go with your friends, I'll stay at home on the couch!

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  66. "Now I'm like savings is travel money. No savings, no travel."

    AMEN

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  67. This is the kind of post where I think why the F didn't I think of that!? Girl, I am too old for sooo many things, most of which you mentioned. Being the sober one? Just no. I am never DD, but if I must, call me and I'll get you. I'm not playing babysitter. And anything that starts at or after 10pm is nothing I want to be a part of. FOMO is not for me.

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  68. Bahahaha. This post is "awesome" (I guess I'm old enough to be uncool and not care, hahaha). I agree with pretty much all of this. Esp. being the only sober fool in a room full of stumbling, drink-spilling, drunks -- absolutely not. I'm also too old to be polite about the fact that I'm being shafted or that a business I am paying is not providing the service they promised. Get on the ball, people -- I'm paying you. Damn, I sound like my Nana now...

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  69. I love this post idea and agree with a lot of these things.

    I will say, though, that I'll still buy floor tickets for a show. Sometimes it's because I have no choice (a lot of the bands/artists I like play at smaller venues without real seats), but sometimes I just want to get really close to the stage.

    The last time I did the moshpit thing was back in 2010 at an Alexisonfire show, and let me tell you, I felt REALLY old. All the kids around us were literally KIDS (probably no one over 20), and even though I was on this amazing high because I was seeing my favorite band play live, I really felt it at the end of the night. It probably didn't help that we had a 5:00 a.m. flight the next morning. Whomp whomp.

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  70. SAME! Especially GA and going out late and drinking crappy alcohol. I was just in Vegas and we got back to the hotel around midnight, complaining about how tired we were and sore feet while a group of girls were leaving the lobby about to call an Uber. That's so late! Haha!

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  71. Love this! I know I'm too old for crop tops, getting too wasted, wearing uncomfortable shoes and wasting time on other people's bullshit.

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  72. We had a lot of last minute decorations to add, and the staff was eager and willing to help. The food at Chicago venues was amazing. They have extremely unique and tasty food. Also this place has great views and beautiful big rooms.

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