I have mentioned (a thousand times) that my goal for a half marathon is sub 2 hours. But today, I am finally letting go of that goal. I'm channeling my inner Elsa.
Yep, I went there. I know last month I was all gung ho about it, but letting go of this goal does not mean I am giving up.
Right now, I am nowhere near my sub 2 hour dream. Maybe one day I will be, but it is certainly not this day. I am trying. I am running... But I am not running anywhere near what I need to be to do 13.1 miles in less than 2 hours.
I have been 'training' for this since 2012. I declared it at the start of the year, and my half marathon is in October. I have had more than enough time to get better, but I have only gotten worse. Every half marathon I do seems to be further away from my goal, and every time I berate myself for not training properly. What is stopping me from reaching my goal? Why do I keep doing this? I hate feeling ashamed and angry at myself. I'm so over it. I used to love running. I still do, but every time I lace up those shoes, I compare my pace to what it needs to be, and it's just not up to snuff, which makes me think that I am not up to snuff.
I am not complaining. I know it's all on me, I know I have to want it enough to do it, just do it. I know all of this, and I try, I do. But every time I run, I see the goal and it's so far away that it just... deflates me. I compare to myself, to others, to what I want to be. I have to let go of all this and just run. Just be happy.
I am pretty good at letting go of goals that no longer fit what I want out of life. I've changed my 30 before 30 list a thousand times because I've evolved away from a certain goal. But for some reason, this goal has stuck in my head because I was so close to it once upon a time. I have to let go of that.
I still like goals, though. Of course. I love to cross things off and feel accomplished. But like I said, I am not going to achieve my sub 2 while I am running an 11 minute mile. This is still a goal, I would still like to do a sub 2 hour half marathon one day but it will not change my life - for good or bad - either way.
Linking up with Alyssa and Tracy.
I am not giving up, I am just adjusting. Resetting. Starting smaller. Right now, my goal is to run my next half marathon and feel strong, happy and just plain good. Regardless of the time.
Do you ever give up or let go of goals?