Monday, June 15, 2015

Guest Post by Alyssa

Hi everyone! While I am on holiday in Europe (be sure to follow along), I asked a few of my besties to guest post for me. First off is Alyssa who is obviously amazing and if you're not reading her blog already, you need to be.


alyssagoesbang


Hey there, SYIAP readers! Not to alarm you, but Kristen's not here today. No, she's literally living out my dream (well, one of them at least) and starting her trip through Europe, during which she and KC will have an absolutely glorious time. In her stead, Kristen has asked me to show up and welcome you here today.

If you don't know me, my name's Alyssa and I write things over at alyssagoesbang. The things I write usually have something to do with running, yoga, what I think about things, and trying to live the good life. I'm also a Bad Yogi ambassador and unapologetic yoga addict who will try to get you on the mat just as soon as I'll look at you. I adore Kristen and I'm so grateful she gave me the opportunity to keep her seat warm today—even though I miss our daily chats terribly while she's gone!

Considering that yoga habit is something Kristen and I share, I thought it fitting that I take over her blog today to talk about it. If you've never practiced yoga before but think you might maybe possibly be interested in giving it a try, then today's your lucky day! Stick around, because this is for you:

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1. Studios can sometimes get a bit tightly packed, so don't come in with unnecessary props. You don't need a water bottle or a towel—you won't sweat enough to need them anyway. Yoga is basically just stretching, and who really works up a sweat while stretching?

2. Bring headphones and your favorite podcast or playlist. As long as you can see what other people and the teacher are doing, that's all you need. Feel free to close yourself off to the room around you. Your instructor won't be saying anything you really need to catch anyway. And besides, catching up on Undisclosed (there was no wrestling match!?) is more important than attempting meditation.

3. Make sure to watch your classmates really closely and try to do what they're doing. I mean, that first row is full of experts or they wouldn't be up front like that, right? And when the advanced yogis pull out moves you've never tried or even seen before, take that as your cue to try and twist your body into them too. It's yoga, so there's no way you could possibly get hurt or anything like that. You can't risk losing the studio competition.

4. Rock those booty shorts and sports bra! Hell, this is an exercise class, and yoga is basically just the hot girls' workout, so flaunt it all in next to nothing. There won't be enough twisting, turning, or inverting to make those short short ride up (or cause anything upstairs to pop out!) so the focus should really be on how good you look in your Lululemon undies "shorts."

5. Feel free to leave once your instructor brings the class to final meditation. Because why would you pay to waste another five minute (you could be getting a jump on traffic instead!) to lay quietly on your mat surrounded by a bunch of other people laying quietly on yoga mats? Like there could actually be some benefit to meditating (or trying to!) with other people's energy floating all around? Pssssh.

(Okay, so just in case I'm not quite as good at writing satire as I think I am, this is all totally sarcastic.) Thanks for letting me take over SYIAP today, and if you're interested, be sure to hop on over to my place tomorrow and see the flip side of all this and some actual beginner yogi tips! Namaste.

15 comments:

  1. LOL, I have only done yoga at home on DVD so I was thinking, "Really? People wear headphones? This is not what I expected." Thanks for the disclaimer at the end! I'm much more prepared now if I take a studio class, ha ha!
    Gina || On the Daily Express

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  2. I was like WHAT DO YOU MEAN DON'T BRING WATER...lolol Good one!

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  3. I have been wanting to try Yoga, so thank you for posting this. So helpful.

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  4. I was starting to get quite alarmed until #3 when I realized they were bogus tips. Lol! Thank goodness, because I sweat all the time doing yoga!

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  5. Oh Alyssa, cheeky girl. This cracked me up and #3 especially made me think of handstand guy. May he always be an inspiration for one of the things not to do in yoga class.

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  6. You had me at the headphones! I was like what?!

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  7. You know I love me some yoga advice and the best advice I get is from you! I personally love #4 ... because booty shorts!!

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  8. Hahaha this post cracked me up. I dont think I will be heading to an actual yoga studio anytime soon but I would imagine that there are people who do ALL of those things and it is probably quite scarring.

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  9. hahaha- love this post and you and kristen! I think I'd really like to give yoga a try sometime!

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  10. The first time I took a class in an actual yoga studio (or more like my sister's gym and we took a yoga class), I spent more time worrying that I would fart to worry about anything else.

    You are too funny. #4 was by far my favorite piece of advice.

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  11. Yoga is so relaxing. I need to do more of it. I look like a hot mess when it comes to more advanced moves though lol.

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  12. haha i read that first point and i was like.. wait what? got itttt. This was funny!

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  13. I'm so glad for your explanation at the end because I started to get worried. I haven't been to yoga in a while (far too long), but I've been trying to get myself motivated to start going again.

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  14. Yayyyy thank you for having me over to your place love!! Hope Europe is amazing so far :)

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Thank you so much for your comment! I reply to my comments via email, but I can't do that if you are a no-reply blogger :-) If you are here to be a troll, please kindly bugger off. Thanks!