Always have an ear ready to listen, a smile on your face, your arms wide open (with a knowing wink), your mouth shut and a drink in your hand.
Now, I've only been married for 2-ish years, but I credit our happiness to that advice up there.
Basically, this person was trying to tell me that my marriage would last if I was always available to my husband, in every sense of the word. My feelings, opinions, thoughts - apparently they didn't matter. I hope that drink in my hand was for me, because I'd need it if I tried to live like that.
Like I said, we've only been married a short time, so I don't pretend to know everything there is to know about marriage. I am sure it will get harder as we get older and go through different life stages, like kids and whatnot. I didn't go into this thinking 'you can always get divorced if it doesn't work out!' (yes, another gem) but I also wasn't delusional and thinking that it would require no work, and just because we love each other we could just coast along and be fine and dandy.
In every relationship, there are issues. Big or small, we all have them. If you try and tell me your marriage is perfect, well, I won't believe you. KC doesn't put the damn towels away properly. I leave lights on. I leave tissues and glasses half full of water everywhere. I monopolise the couch, the TV, the hot water, the food, KC's time and the phone upgrades. I am selfish, and I know it.
Pretending that we don't have issues, or pretending like he is king and my life is all about him and making him happy- well that's just ridiculous. We're in this together, and marriage, like everything good and important, isn't easy. It takes work and it takes two people to make it work.
So I try and pick up my tissues, and KC collects the glasses of water from around the house without a word, and I put away the towels instead of nagging him to put them away properly. I am always ready with an ear to listen, unless I've had a bad day and need to talk first. My arms are always available for a hug. Sometimes we go to bed angry, but more often than not we come to our senses and make up. I voice my feelings, thoughts and opinions, sometimes a little too much. I have learned which battles to pick, which things to ignore. I don't quite call it compromise because I don't feel like I've lost anything - if the towels really mattered to me, I would tell KC and he would do it properly. But it's not a big deal, it's not worth arguing and who cares where the damn towels are.
We have both changed since getting married, as people tend to do, and I think we have meshed together pretty well. So maybe I did follow that advice a little, in my own way. I try and make KC happy and he makes me happy. Being married to him is not a chore, and I hope it never is. We both want the same things, the same life and we enjoy each others company. What more could you want?
Look, I even made a
In case you were wondering, the best advice I ever received was: Communicate and have sex. Don't try and communicate after sex though.
Oh, and both advice givers were divorced, so perhaps I shouldn't listen to either of them.
Did you ever receive amazing or horrible relationship advice?