Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Life is short

Yeah, I know you know. But really. You guys, really. Life is effing short.

Last year, Steph posted her September recommendations and something Amanda said about her birthday really resonated with me and I have been thinking about it ever since - especially as my birthday rears its pretty head.


It's hard for me not to get a little scared about my birthday and getting older. I'm not scared about the age or wrinkles or whatever - I'm scared because I'm one day closer to the thing I do not talk about, that I can't even think about without freaking the buggery out. I'm scared that I'm not doing enough. That I will look back and be mad at myself. Or I'll be sad I missed out on things.


Something I always try and remember is that every single 'old' person I have ever spoken to - and this ranges from when I was 5 and talking to a 21 year old, to now when I talk to my Nana who is in her late 80s - if they regret anything, it is never - literally never - something they have done. It's something they didn't do. Keep in mind I have never spoken to a murderer or person who tortures animals, hopefully they'd be the exception.

I try and live my life this way, I try to remember this daily. When people tell me they want to do something but are scared, I spout off the cliche 'you'll only regret what you didn't do' and hope it helps them. I was terrified of moving the US especially after KC and I broke up. But I knew I would regret it if I didn't go, and it all worked out in the end.


Sure, my life passes by in the day to day monotony and suddenly I realise I haven't done anything exciting or challenging in months. I haven't travelled anywhere or tried something new. I haven't stepped out of the oh so comfortable comfort zone. I get upset - hurry, I need to do something before my life is over! But sometimes that is ok - KC and I will be sitting on the floor in our jammies playing with our cats and just look at each other and smile - he says "this is what makes me happy, the little things" because he thinks I need to travel all over the world and buy all the clothes to be "happy". But the little things make me happy too - it all makes me happy. The small things, the big things, the good and the bad - the exciting and the monotonous - it all makes up my life that I am so lucky to live.


Life is short - and sometimes we can get caught up in thinking we've wasted our time, or we are "too old" to do something, missed our chance to do this or that, not in the same place as our peers or strangers on the internet. Next time you think to yourself that you are old and life is passing you by - ask yourself this: "if I died today, would I still think I was old?" No. You'd most likely think "No - I'm too young to go! I still have so much life to live, so many things to do!" And you'd be right. Life is short, and it's scary, and this post is very strange but all I wanted to say was that I am thankful for this life, thankful for lasting 28 years - here's to the next 28, heck the next 50. I'm not ready yet, I'm still so young. Here's to life!



Any wisdom to share? Go do something crazy! Or not.

65 comments:

  1. I so agree, life is too short and it seems to be going by faster and faster! My mom gave me a bracelet with the saying "the biggest risk in life, is the one you don't take." She gave this to me when I made my first move to Iceland and I have lived by it since because I don't want to be the person regretting not doing something in my life.

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  2. Life is definitely too short, I think ever since my mum died I have taken on a different mentatlity to life. I used to be scared of doing things that I might fail at but now I think it is so important to at least have a go at achieving your dreams. I am about to change my entire career at teh grand old age of 30 which might go tits up but I am at least going to give it a go! Great post!

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  3. I used to worry about regretting something or feeling like I missed out on something but you should only regret the things you didn't do. I'm a natural born worrier so I tend to stress about everything so I try to live my life without the worry of missing out on something!

    <3, Pamela
    Sequins & Sea Breezes

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  4. With 32 staring me in the face next month, this post really couldn't have come at a better time! I totally agree that older people's regrets always center around what they didn't do...which is a great lesson for us to be bold and live our best lives!
    xoxo B | The Sequin Notebook

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  5. "you're never too old to do something stupid" true story bro! I love that and I love this post!!! It is so true, I think back over the years and I don't really regret things that I did do but rather the things I didn't. I'm going to be 32 this year and there is so much I want to do and see and try and experience!!!32...bloody hell....

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  6. So true, even now when I think back to my years in high school I don't regret what I did (well, some mistakes I do regret) but the majority of things I regret is stuff I DIDN'T do...like join the soccer team, have more sleep overs with my friend, etc... getting old because of wrinkles doesn't scare me either. getting older scares me because of death. it's just crazy to think that one day -poof- we will just be gone. okay, I'm done because I really hate thinking about this stuff haha

    Jessica
    the.pyreflies.org

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  7. Couldn't agree with you more! You'll always end up thinking about "what if" unless you actually try out the things that you want to do and go after the things that you want the most.

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  8. Oh gosh, I love your quote about "if I died today would I think I was old?" That is a great perspective to have! And you're so right! Hell no I'm not old! I worried that I was "too old" to start a blog because it seems like mostly 20-somethings doing it, but I'm so glad I did! Loved this post! I really am trying to live life to the fullest lately and this is really inspiring!

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  9. You're never too old to be young. I love that!

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  10. Well said Kristen!

    I think about this a lot too. I think so often people (myself included) get so hung up on saving for retirement and having enough money later in life that they don't do more in the present moment. I try to say yes to new opportunities when they come along. Even if they scare me a little. :o)

    V
    Life+1

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  11. This post is amazing! I love it and I needed this more than ever! I am starting something new that I haven't fully shared with the blog yet but your post just helped me know that it is best to go ahead and do it than to hold back out of fear. Thank you for posting this!

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  12. Totally agree with you and can relate when it comes to my fertility. Its so hard not to think, OK I'll be 29 this year and that seems too old to be having my first kid, I should be having a second one by now and I don't even have one yet! Then I have to remember that its really not that old and there are many women much older than that having babies. I agree, you're never too old to have a dream and to live it out!

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  13. I've been feeling all wonky about age lately, too. J told me when we first started dating (when we were 17) that he would be totally gray by the time he was 30. Kid wasn't joking. He turned 29 in December and it's most of the way gray. I turn 29 this year. For some reason it's just been nagging at me, the whole age thing. We're no longer in the stage of our lives that we have the "young and foolish" label and I've been feeling the pressure to put on my big girl pants and DO things. Getting older is a privilege denied to many. I try to keep that in mind. But it still makes me have all the feels.

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  14. Great post, lady!!!! I'm with you, I can't talk about that moment that shall not be named. It stresses me out! And I also feel like I"m not doing enough, experiencing enough or learning enough. But, like you said, I find contentment in just hanging out and laughing with my husband. Life is what we make it and I choose JOY!

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  15. I like that way of thinking about it: if I died today would I think I was old? nope nope nope!

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  16. yah i love this!! all the little things make me really happy :) and one of the things i LOVE about my husband is he is a do-er and he motivates me to DO things. not just talk about them! xo jillian - cornflake dreams

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  17. I feel like time just flies by and I have to really make an effort to make those memories and spend time with people that matter to me. I love all of the little anecdotes you included in here and I hope I never get to a point where I think I'm too "old" to do something I want to do!

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  18. Awwhh I love this and can totally relate to the feeling of worrying that you're not doing enough. It scares me too! I think there has to be a balance of the little things and the big things. Deciding to go back to school last year at the age of 27 was a big thing for me. I thought I was going to feel so old, but then I got to school and there are people of all ages. Sure some are 10 years younger, but then there are some more than 10 years older. My fear of not doing things is definitely greater than my fear of doing things.

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  19. Life is short and it goes by fast. We have to do what we can in the time we have, and sometimes that is doing nothing and enjoying the little things and sometimes it's taking a life changing trip. Regardless, being grateful to be here is the thing and you are certainly that. Happy impending birthday!

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  20. This is such a great post that I think everyone can relate to. Getting older is so hard. I think the hardest part is finally starting to realize that you won't live forever. You have such limited time and so much that you want to do within that time. It's stressful! I think the most important thing to do is just enjoy today. Make each day count in some way.

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  21. I totally 100% agree! Especially after losing my mom when she was only 40, it terrifies me to think what if over half of my life is already behind me? I don't want to live in fear but I also think it's a big motivator in how I live - I don't wait to take vacations (as long as I have the money of course haha) or things that I want to do, I do them now. Life is soooo short and you never know when your last day is!

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  22. Love this! My bestie and I always said "regret the things you did, not the things you didn't do!" so we always had a ball!

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  23. Yep, I turn 29 next month and you just summed up ALL my feelings on it! I just remind myself that there are many people who haven't made it to 29... and there are many of my friends who don't have one of their parents, I'm very lucky, very blessed. So are you ;)

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  24. Incredibly true...my birthday is coming up and it freaks me out knowing I am a year older.

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  25. I am like you - I like big adventures but also hanging out at the house with my family and cat. I need to do both.

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  26. hahahahaha the last graphic just cracked me up :-D

    But seriously – who cares? As long as you are able-bodies and got your wits about you, there's nothing you can do – so who cares when you do it? I have to admit I also dreaded approaching 30 again, but you know what, then the pressure starts going down. I don't feel about turning 40 as I did about turning 30. I already have done a lot of stuff in my life, so the way I see it, everything else is bonus. Way too stressful to live scared of missing out!
    Maybe focus on all the fun stuff you can do to celebrate your upcoming birthday ;-)

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  27. Now that I'm in my 40's - I can tell you that holds so much truth - the things you DONT do... you always learn from the things you Do... even if its a bad decision. Lessons are learned... when you DONT do anything, you learn nothing. I think we get so caught up that you have to do it all in your 20's... but life IS too short - it needs to be lived EVERY DAY - no matter if that's 30 years or 100 years.
    I am currently struggling with dreams & stepping out & doing something about them so I needed this today!

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  28. I have had all the same thoughts. I find myself at least once a month thinking, is my life exciting enough, am I making the right choices, what am I not doing. Ian and I are living in a small northern town right now because it will help us get ahead (financially, career wise) later but we're forgoing a love for travel and city life. I worry that I'll find myself still here in 20 years and regret not "living"! But I like your last question, it's good to remember we are young. I think when we're in our teens and early twenties we think life sort of stops at 30? But it really doesn't haha and I also try to remind myself that even when I was travelling and living a really 'exciting life' I was not nearly as happy as I am with my friends and family. That's cheesy but so true. I find sometime we get caught up in chasing a big dream but enjoying the little things makes me a thousand times more grateful in the long run.

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  29. YES to all of this :) I get in panic modes often like the kind you mentioned: "I haven't done anything interesting in months...I'm WASTING MY LIFE!" haha. Sometimes living in the little things is the best thing for us. I gotta learn to relax! But what you said is true, the scary stuff (like moving countries) is SOOOO worth it. Before you get on the plane, though, you are scared shitless. hahahaha.

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  30. I'm in the same boat and facing 28 this year but I often feel like I'm not old enough. Like when I think about having kids, I forget that I'm almost 28 and think I'm still too young for that. My fear, is that I'll blink and 20 years will have gone by and I will actually be to old to say have kids. I love this post, though. It is a great reminder of how short and fragile life can be. Hopefully, I can do something stupid soon :)

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  31. Here's to life!!

    I have those thoughts regularly. I want to LIVE my life, but sometimes I get so busy trying to LIVE that I forget that I AM living... in all of the small "insignificant" moments, I am living. And those small moments make up this life.

    You're right. We are still so young. We have so much more to do/live, and we will forever. :)

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  32. It's all about perspective. I think you've lived this adventurous life, with lots of travels and experiences. And moving to another country! That's the scariest thing I can imagine! And you just did it, not knowing how things would turn out. That's pretty damn brave. And here I am, still stuck in the same place I grew up. But I wouldn't change a thing! I have lived my life in the last few years making decisions based on what scares me the most. And that has lead me on the best adventures and most satisfying path. So that's what I recommend to everyone. If it scares you, do it!

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  33. Oh I love this post!!! I totally agree with you and getting out there and trying new things is what we will remember when we're older, but I also agree that just relaxing on the couch together and laughing is another thing we'll always remember when we're older so I think a little bit of both is a good thing! xo, Biana - BlovedBoston

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  34. Smile while you still have teeth, I like that. ;) But you're so right. I definitely do sometimes stop and look back at the last few months and realize that I haven't really done much that's different from my day-to-day or typical weekend stuff. I mean it's definitely OK to have routines and enjoy doing fun things within my comfort zone. But I also want to try new things... I should really put together a list of at least a few things that I'd be willing to try, that don't cost lots of money, and just see what happens! :) Thanks for the reminder!!

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  35. I think you have to revel in the small things while still dreaming of the big things. You don't want to regret doing the big things, but not be so caught up in them you don't enjoy the present.

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  36. I love this!! There are definitely times now that I think I'm too old to do some things but I know that there is really no such thing as "too old!!!"

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  37. So, so true! And perfect mindset not to think we're too old to do certain things.

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  38. Love this! So true, I tend to get in a rut of monotony and comfort and while I've never been a super driven person I do want to challenge myself to do things I am scared to do and step out there!

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  39. Lovely post :) This is something that I keep telling myself I need to do better at--at planning more fun and good things to do with my life rather than spend another day watching Netflix. Still working on it of course :)

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  40. I often think I'm too old for x, y, or z but then I remember that really, in the grand scheme of things, no, I'm not. I still have plenty of time to try new things and go new places and live big while still relishing in the small. Because to me, life exists in the small moments. Those are the ones I'm grateful for because while the big trips or the big events are something to look forward to, the things that make me smile every day or the small ones. Those are the ones that make it possible to get through a bad day.

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  41. I love this and I completely agree. Sometimes I look around at what I've been filling my time with and I feel like it's not enough, but then I think about how I spend my days and it's all good, if small, things that bring me joy. It's finding the balance that's the challenge for me, I think. I want to experience as much as I can, but never at the expense of the less brag-worthy moments that still make me smile, even though they're all mine.
    And the "dream a new dream" quote is one of my favorites; I love it so much.

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  42. You are so right! My one aim is to be as loving as I possibly can for as long as I live. It is extremely difficult; however, I have to recommit myself to the challenge daily. Happy Tuesday :)

    http://www.lovecompassionatelee.com/

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  43. I agree, life is just way too short and it scares me all the time too. I just love life and it makes me sad thinking that it doesn't last forever. So I try my best to live each day to the fullest. My attitude has always been about giving things a go and taking chances because I really do believe the old saying "you'll never regret the things you did do, just the things you didn't do". I used to be scared of failure and what other people think but not so much anymore. Great post!

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  44. The older I get, the more I agree with all of this! Life is way too short for regrets!

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  45. This is such a good post- it really gives you a lot to think about. I struggle with thinking I'm missing out on things or will look back and wish I had done more or something different, but I think as long as you're happy IN the moments, you're not going to look back and dwell on something- at least I hope not! That being said I'm definitely a person that needs an extra little push to get out of my comfort zone. Even if it's silly little things like taking more time getting ready because I'm "young" and can still pull things off I won't always be able to.

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  46. I think that's definitely true - it's the things you DON'T do, not the things you do, that you'll end up regretting. I try to live life that way too, and while sometimes I worry that I may have swung a little too far over into reckless abandon territory (like when I spend too much money or we take a spontaneous trip or you know, that time I up and QUIT MY JOB to go spend oodles of money on a new degree), for the most part I feel like this is better than the alternative. There is not a day that goes by that I don't, at least for a second, think, "What am I doing?! Why don't I have a retirement account like I'm supposed to? Why do I live in a tiny rented apartment? Why don't I want to start a family yet? Why don't I even have a job?!" and sometimes I really have to work hard to convince myself that the answer (following my dreams and not settling) is worth it. I've definitely felt myself needing to reign it in a bit more and be more of a grown-up (mostly with money, like we've talked about), so I'm trying to figure out how to balance that "Life is short" mentality with "…but hopefully it's not THAT short so make sure you make good decisions that will help you in the future." ;)

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  47. I love love this post. I will occasionally have the same thoughts - Oh no, I haven't done anything exciting lately and I'm wasting my life on stupid chores. But I can't forget about the little moments of simple happiness that happen all the time. Thank you for making me think and appreciate life today. Both as a reminder that the little things are life well spent and to not forget to do the big things too!

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  48. Well girl, knowing that life can slip away at any time ... makes this so much more real to me. I echo it all and maybe thats why I try to be superwoman and do it all! Who knows. But I will say ... live day to day and enjoy your moments ... they are what really matter anyway :) You rock as always with this post!

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  49. So beautiful Kristen! The question we proposed we should tell to ourselves is right on point. So powerful, I usually ask myself "will it matter 5 years from now?" if the answer is no, then I go for it. #yoloswag

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  50. Well said! I am always flipping out that I'm not doing enough. It's so stressful to think of getting old and having nothing to show for it!

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  51. i never knew just how fast time flies until i had kayla. with kids, the days seem so long but the years feel short....strange but true.

    that said, life is WAY TOO SHORT! a lot has happened that made me realize this; that you can never do too many things, love too many people, take too few risks. regret is not part of my agenda so even if things seem a little scary, if it doesn't kill me then i'm good because at the end of this life, i want to be able to look back and remember all the times - good and bad - and remember that i was wild and i was reckless and I FUCKING DID IT <-- bonus points if you know what movie this line is from ;)

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  52. I love this post. It's so true. I get into phases where I don't really do anything because I'm "too busy" & then after awhile kick myself because I'm missing out on life even if it's something small or out of my comfort zone.

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  53. What really hit me is the point you made about regrets...not what someone HAS done, but something they have NOT. I've made a lot of mistakes in life's journey so far. But, my regret? That I didn't study overseas. When I was in high school and uni, I took a total of 6 1/2 years of Spanish. My dad and stepmom encouraged me to take a year or a semester in a Spanish speaking country. I didn't. I was having fun at my college bars with my college friends, my college boyfriend, and being on my college dance team. Looking back, I wish I'd studied abroad. Imagine the experience I missed, AND I can't speak a lick of Spanish!

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  54. I LOVE this post! And strangely, everytime I think about how I'm getting older and not accomplishing the things I always thought I would, I remind myself that I'm still so very young in the grand scheme of things. That although life is short is it also very long too. Long enough to turn it all around whenever I need to. Ya know?
    Also, I wouldn't say you have done anything brave or challenging in months. You came to NY and met me and the girls even when you were tempted to skip out. YOU STAYED <3

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  55. This is an awesome point, and you have written it so well! I try to do something productive or challenging or new almost everyday so that I won't grow old with regrets thinking that I should have done more while I was younger. I think its important to have a good balance between big things and little things!

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  56. Just wait till you have kids and time literally flies by! I do regret not doing some things I could have in my 30's for real but... I am trying very hard to make up for lost time now. Every day is a gift!

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  57. These quotes are great! I have been feeling the same way too! Sometimes you just get discouraged!
    Melanie @ meandmr.com

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  58. I love these quotes and I think they ring so true! we all really need to stop being so worried about birthdays and embrace them. They really are to be celebrated.

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  59. This www really a beautiful post. I get so caught up in the mundane details of life too, and sometimes I forget to embrace life and be open to adventures.
    Love your quotes!

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  60. Um yes. You're amazing and I loved this post. I use this very same strategy to get myself to do things that challenge or scare me!

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  61. I love this SO MUCH. I get this way a lot. I am naturally a goal-setter. And have always wanted to travel especially. I've changed my idea of dream job more times than I can count.... this makes me think there is not even close to enough time to do it all. But it's true that the small things are just as important as the big ones. My grandma is in her 70's and she has moved herself across the country. She went to Italy and Greece after my grandfather passed away. She's quilting and swimming. Drinking more than me and having a great time. I try to channel that even in little bits. There's no reason to slow down or speed up as you age. Just have fun. Thanks for sharing this. Though I totally get it... it doesn't stay in my head for long before I do too much again... :) XO -Alexandra

    Simply Alexandra: My Favorite Things

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  62. Great post Kristin!! The "Life is short..." paragraph, so spoke to me. I feel that so much sometimes. I get overwhelmed with thinking I haven't done enough. I loved this post!!

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  63. I agree with all of this. I've been working on being grateful for my life despite the things that annoy me. The bad things don't last forever. Nothing does. So I'm with you on appreciating this short but sweet existence :)

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  64. So true!!! I just told Michael the other day how there are so many things I want to do... and he's over here like well I want to buy this and buy that and make more babies. Ugh. No Michael. Life is too short! ;)

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  65. I can SO relate. I'll be 30 in a few weeks and sometimes the number alone scares me. I used to get upset because I wasn't where other people were... but now I realize that I don't WANT to be where everyone else is. That makes a HUGE difference. Life IS short... gotta make the most of it in your OWN way while you're here. :)

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