Friday, January 16, 2015

Having a tooth extracted is worse than giving birth.

Ahem.

Why?

Well.

Some people (aka me) deal with a 'toothache' or excruciating pain for far too long because they are scared of the dentist which is really counterproductive. I have never seen a pregnant woman who has been pregnant for like 15 years.


When you get a tooth taken out, the dentist just wants that bugger out. He yanks and pulls, knocks your other teeth, your jaw is open for a really long time and you can hear everything and feel the pressure. All of this is going on in your mouth, and it is a sciencey fact that the closer to the brain the pain is, the more it hurts. And where you have a baby is nowhere near your brain.


You can't eat after having a tooth extracted. You can't drink through a straw either. Lots of soft foods but zero desire to make soft foods. You might have to get a milkshake (bummer) and drink / eat it with a spoon. After you have a baby, not only can you eat but you can eat all the fun stuff you couldn't eat for 9 months. That sounds like fun.

ice cream for lunch!

A bonus is that you can get dry socket after a tooth extraction, doesn't that sound like FUN? You're not in danger of a dry socket when you give birth now are you?

Most importantly, when you give birth you get a baby in the end. When you have a tooth extracted, all you get is pain for a few days. Sometimes its so bad you want to bang your head against the wall to make it hurt somewhere else, if only for a second.

Also, I accidentally swallowed some gauze which would not have happened if I was giving birth.

Ok, so eventually I will get to a pain free zone and I can't wait for that.. I have had a toothache of some sort for at least 15 years. I know, I'm an idiot, you don't have to tell me. I'm just glad it's finally almost over. I don't know what I will do with myself without a toothache. Meanwhile, thank goodness for husbands who know their wives will freak the buggery out, cry the whole time and not be able to drive home. Thanks KC.



Obviously this is ridiculously tongue in cheek and I have never had a baby so what the heck do I know. Oh I know what I know, I had a tooth taken out and it hurt like a mother, that's what. I'm sure if and when I have a baby I'll be wishing for an extraction instead but until then... tooth extraction wins in my book. Also, I was kinda loopy when I wrote this.

What would you rather? Give birth or have a tooth taken out?

Happy Friday!

68 comments:

  1. ouch! I feel for ya! But once all the pain and hassle is gone of a 15 year (wtf) tooth-ache it will be worth it! I am glad I got my 3 wisdom teeth removed whilst being under general anaesthetic. but recovering from it wasnt fun, especially having food stuck inside the cavities in the gums, dry socket for a while (it smelt and tasted like something died in my mouth - yuck) and having a numb face for about 3 weeks due to nerve-damage.. at least the suckers are gone now is all I can say!

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  2. I would rather give birth! I've never had a tooth extracted, but getting my tooth sanded down for a crown was just about the worst thing that ever happened to me.

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  3. I have had kids, and I think a broken toe or sprained ankle hurts worse. That may be because I have never had my wisdom teeth taken out.

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  4. I'm cringing just hearing this because I hate going to the dentist so much! I had my wisdom teeth out in college and it was just awful so I feel for you! Hopefully you're on the mend and can at least indulge in some ice cream soon! xoxo, - M @ The Sequin Notebook

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  5. i've never had teeth extracted (still have my wisdom at 38, which came in like lsat year..) but have had root canals. anything dentist makes me freak out.

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  6. Hahaha oh girl... this sounds awful! I'm going to have to go with you and say giving birth would be better than getting a tooth extracted. I got my wisdom teeth taken out but they were impacted so they put me to sleep but man the pain after was awful. I just hate the noises at the dentist. They make me cringe!!

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  7. oucccch! i had 4 teeth pulled before i got braces and then my wisdom teeth later...it was the WORST. i hope you feel better soon. xo jillian - cornflake dreams

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  8. I actually like going to the dentist. When I had my wisdom teeth taken out, they were bad enough they had to knock me out so I couldn't feel it while they were in there. I hardly had any pain after and I don't take stronger than regular OTC pain killers. It was that and one other thing that made me believe I have a high tolerance for pain. Feeling for you. I was the driver / babysitter for two friends after they had their wisdom teeth so I know how miserable they were.

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  9. I feel for you -- the dentist sucks. And while I haven't given birth yet, I'm pretty sure having people mess around in your mouth and gums sucks way worse. Ick, all those sharp pointy things! Enjoy your ice cream and milkshakes!

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  10. Oh my word, girl. I am not going to debate you on tooth extraction vs. childbirth because you were obviously high on pain meds when you wrote this. LOL. If you want to make yourself feel better you could look up "episiotomy" and then maybe the extraction won't seem as bad. But rest up and recover well and enjoy your consolation prize! (Ice cream!)

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  11. LOL this is exactly why I haven't gotten my wisdom teeth out. I got 2 out and I have 2 left... I'm dreading it!!

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  12. LOL. writing while freebasing pain meds is the best (and hilarious!!!).

    i've had both done (all 4 wisdom taken out in one shot) and shot human out of my vagina...i can say that dental work is way less painful because 1) it is not right that a human comes out of a hole that small, 2) see #1 and 3) shredded vagina that takes at least 2 months to fully heal.

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  13. LoL. I can totally agree. With child birth pain, you know the pain is for a reason and will eventually get the baby out and you'll find that sweet relief. The constant pain of a tooth ache is annoyingly excruciating! Hope you're healing well and eating lots of ice cream!!!

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  14. I hate the dentist and I am currently putting it off but I'm with Kathy on this one. Pissing yourself for months after childbirth because the muscles have been destroyed is not a whole lot of fun either. Dentist is much quicker recovery!

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  15. I can tell you with 100% certain FACT: Having a dry socket is indeed worse than giving birth! That was the second most painful thing that has ever happened to me (1st was spine reconstruction). Having a baby sucked, but not nearly, remotely that bad!

    Although you're wrong about one thing: when you pop a wee one out via emergency c section, they don't let you eat anything 12 hours before and 24 hours after and you spend nearly that whole time puking. But, you know... That's not the level of pain of a dry socket!

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  16. Ohhh I've had my wisdom teeth taken out and it was AWFUL I was in sooo much pain. I guess they had to break my jaw in order to get them out because they were growing into my jaw bone. Gross, and OUCH! I could barely open my mouth for almost 2 months! I've also had a daughter....and I will say that tooth pain is worse! haha! I'm a huge sissy about dentists too so I wait way too long to get anything done about the pain

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  17. HA! Oh my gosh. Hilarious.

    I think I'd still rather have a tooth taken out.... I like the lack of long-term commitment. ;)

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  18. Oh girl I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with this - seriously tooth pain is right up there with stomach pain!!! Pretty much nothing can be done!!! I think I'm going to say I'd rather have a tooth taken out than give birth - that seems like it will hurt more LOL! xo, Biana - BlovedBoston

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  19. eeek that is a hard question haha I have never given birth and I haven't had a tooth extracted... I had one pulled when I was in 6th grade but it was already loose so I don't remember it hurting too much. I freaking hate the dentist, the noise of the sharp objects scraping against my teeth make me cringe.

    Jessica
    the.pyreflies.org

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  20. LOL!!! I think I'd rather a tooth extraction, cause who wants to take care of a helpless baby? lol

    But I HATE the dentist. I'm so overdue, but I've never had to get any teeth pulled or any fillings, and I don't want that to change.

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  21. Oh man! This sounds so painful!! You poor thing:( I got my wisdom teeth pulled when I was in high school, but they put me fully asleep for that. Can they do that with a baby, too?:) Hope you're feeling better soon!!

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  22. I just had all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed last October. Two of them were impacted so I had to be put to sleep. Recovery was a B though. Hopefully, your recovery will be quick!

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  23. Well as a dentist in training, I have to say it probably wasn't fun for the dentist lol. At your age, you shouldn't really need to have teeth removed-if you think its worse than child birth take better care of yourself=no more extractions

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  24. Oh man that sounds awful!! Hope you're feeling better now.

    That being said....I must say, after having had two wisdom teeth removed AND having gone through childbirth, I'd definitely rate childbirth as the most intense pain I've ever encountered. Hands down. Granted, I didn't live with tooth pain for 15 years (you crazy girl!) but I did endure natural labor pain for more hours than I care to remember, which seemed like a lifetime!

    Thank god for modern day medication!

    V
    www.lifeplus1.me

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  25. Girl this was hilarious! I'm so sorry you're dealing with so much pain but I'm glad we got an entertaining post out of it :-D Upsides, right? haha

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  26. & you celebrate that birth pain every year with birthday... I don't celebrate the day I got my tooth ripped out of me.
    I totally agree. I always say I will pay whatever to save a tooth because tooth extraction is MISERYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

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  27. Bahahaha hilarious! Pretty good points my friend, and yeah.. no gauze is swallowed during childbirth LOL!

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  28. I've never had a tooth extracted so I do not know the pain. Birth wasn't the best time but it is true that there is a baby at the end of it all. Glad you will have some relief soon though!

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  29. Okay, so let's make a plan to revisit this after you give birth. I've done both and I have to disagree with your assessment. One of the biggest reasons is that when you get a tooth out you get to take pain drugs, lock yourself in your bedroom and watch chick flicks and no one bothers you bc you just had your tooth out. After you give birth there is a crying baby that is SUPER needy harassing you. Just you wait, sistah.

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  30. I have had teeth taken out and it does suck balls. I didn't get dry socket though, thank goodness!

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  31. This so made me giggle . . . poor thing! Hope you're better soon!

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  32. I've never had a baby either but dental issues are sooo bad! And wait, so is your tooth already out?!

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  33. I guess it's safe to say I'm one of those that's been avoiding this! I am long overdue to get my wisdom teeth out!

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  34. Oh man it is never fun to have teeth taken out. It hurt a lot after, and not being able to eat anything solid for days after. :(

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  35. Oh shoot girl! I HATE anything to do with the dentist! The sound of that drill......seriously sends chills right up my spine!

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  36. Aww, sweetie I'm so so sorry :(! I hope you feel better, I've had to get my wisdom teeth out and it was no fun. enjoy those milkshakes ;)!

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  37. I had dry sockets! Not fun at all! Toothaches are the worst!

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  38. OMG, this post is freaking hysterical!

    Having done both--having a tooth extracted and giving birth--I would gladly give birth again, even with my horrible labor, over having another tooth pulled any day of the week, every time, forever and ever.

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  39. I've had teeth taken out, and it totally sucks, but in my current state, the whole not-having-to-take-care-of-a-baby thing at the end of it all is actually the consolation prize. Sorry you're in pain <3

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  40. I have a major, massive, mostly irrational fear of the dentist. I need to psych myself up for months to go for a freaking cleaning. And my current dentist is awesome - she knows and accepts my maniacal fear and paranoia and is really good about dealing with me.

    So girl, I feel you on the dentist. The root canal I had a few years ago still makes me sick to my stomach to think about.

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  41. I hate the dentist. When I was in college I had all 4 of my wisdom teeth cut out. Luckily they put me under but I remember throwing up on the way home & being in pain for days.

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  42. I've never had a tooth taken out but I did have a rough dental hygienist once and that was painful enough so I can't even imagine your level of tooth pain :( I hope it goes (went?) well!

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  43. Oh man! Now I'm even more worried about the dentist appointment I have coming up! Nothing makes my stomach turn or gives me the sweats like the dentist. I know it's horrible, but I also put my appointments off as long as possible. I have a cracked molar or I would not be going...I still might cancel haha no I won't...well I might!

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  44. I'm one of those weirdos who actually doesn't mind the dentist. Bring it on, I say. I warned one dentist that there's a chance I will break out laughing. And I did. While he was drilling for a filling. Something about the little pieces of tooth flying is comical to me. And I actually once had a filling done without Novocaine. Now I'm older though. Bring on the Novocaine. I don't laugh as much with it. And I hope for things to be over. As for the tooth being taken out ... I had it done a long time ago and don't remember a lot of pain. But I do remember the dentist making sure I wouldn't feel it!

    P.J. @ A ‘lil HooHaa

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  45. I had my wisdom teethe out last year and it was the worst two-three weeks ever. I couldn't hardly open my mouth to eat anything for that entire time!! And I love food!! Feel better dear! :D

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  46. HAHAHA, love this post! I promise I'm not laughing at your pain, just at the hilarious way you described the experience! But so sorry you are dealing with that, I hope the pain goes away soon!! My husband got dry socket after having his wisdom teeth removed and a woman (who has 3 kids) told him that she had it and it was worse to her than childbirth! So there you go, science! ;)

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  47. hahaha! Nobody is pregnant for 15yrs! I should hope not! Although, I was thinking about people with multiple kids - like 11 or 13 kids are literally pregnant for about a decade!

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  48. I pray to every god ever that I never experience either of those. Hope the pain subsides soon!

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  49. Whaaat did they not give you enough of a numbing agent!? I had to have all 4 wisdom teeth taken out (in pieces - they were so impacted!) but I woke up sore and that was that. SO sorry you've been in pain for a freaking 15 years but you're hopefully all good ASAP!

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  50. I had three teeth extracted yesterday because of crowding now that I have my braces on. The worst part was the SIX needles they shoved into my mouth. I feel great today though, other than the fact that I have what feels like a million holes in my mouth

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  51. The whole tooth extraction vs. giving birth is hilarious! I had a kidney stone once, and I thought that sucker was the worst thing ever (I've never given birth)...so I shall group my kidney stone with your tooth extraction against Team Giving Birth. Ha!

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  52. I dealt with wisdom tooth related pain for a looong time before it was finally intolerable enough that I got them taken out. The office I went to sat me in a room, by myself, before talking to me and then played a video of everything that could possibly go wrong. (Broken jaw, nerve damage, etc etc etc.) I was nearly in tears by the time I actually saw the oral surgeon. I was almost thankful that all I wound up with was one dry socket issue.

    Going to the dentist even for a cleaning gives me anxiety. They actually prescribe me sedatives when I have to get a cavity filled or anything. It's terrible.

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  53. Poor thing - hope you feel better soon!!
    I've given birth 2x and, while I haven't had a tooth pulled, I've had 4 gum grafts and 2 root canals - none of which are fun:)

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  54. Ha! This made me chuckle a little. Having a tooth extracted is awful, I had to have a wisdom tooth taken out last year...not cool. I made the silly mistake of going on my own as well, so I had to return home a little bit high and not with it at all. I don't remember the bus journey even slightly. x

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  55. I hate dental work-- HATE IT! I'm sorry you had to go through this!
    Melanie @ meandmr.com

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  56. My fear of the dentist is a real issue for me. I went years with having a hole in on of my teeth and lots and lots of pain for quite some time. Finally I couldn't take it anymore because they pain was taking over my entire life. I broke down and went to the dentist and I actually found a great one. His staff is very sweet and patient with me. I went in and let them know up front my irrational fears and that I was basically a five year old as far as they were concerned. They call me their "VIP" patient now and basically bend over backwards to make sure that I am calm in the chair. They give me head phones to tune out their equipment and the dentist stops every few minutes to ask me if I am ok.

    I had to have my wisdom teeth taken out at the beginning of 2013 and at the end of 2013 right before Christmas I had to have a tooth extracted, so I totally get where you are. I was actually put to sleep both times because the extracted tooth was in the very back of my mouth next to my wisdom teeth. The good news is, if you dont have anything super hot or drink out of a straw...the chances of dry socket are really low.

    I am sorry you are dealing with this, but if I can handle it I know you can too!! Us dentalphobia girls got to stick together!!!!

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  57. 15 year toothache? Seriously?? That's insane!
    I would definitely rather give birth than get my wisdom teeth out again! The actual tooth extraction process wasn't too bad, but it was over a week before I could eat properly again! I even had to break my pain killers in half before I could take then. Ugh. And, as you correctly pointed out, after you give birth you're rewarded with a baby.

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  58. Wow. That is crazy! My sister had a tooth extracted a couple of days ago as well and I had to have my wisdom teeth removed a few years ago... it's very painful. This is one of the funniest posts I've read in a while though!

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  59. Having been through both experiences, I would be reticent to compare them. I think pushing a watermelon out of your vagina and possibly having to get stitches in your nether regions, then having to sit on a donut for a week or two isn't a walk in the park, either ;-)
    But I do so hate going to the dentist and I literally shiver every time someone discusses their dental visit, so I can sympathize.

    I hope the pain subsides soon! Until then, eat your weight in ice cream girl – you have the perfect excuse. xo

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  60. I hate the dentist so much this just gave me the shivers! I'm like you and put that appointment off for WAY too long and sadly this just reminded me I should make one... Glad to hear you're on the mend and soon it will all be behind you! In the mean time, ice cream!!

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  61. I hate the dentist with a passion and I'd STILL rather get a tooth removed. I had all 4 of my wisdom teeth taken out at once. The pain after sucked... but the first couple hours after was fuuuuunnn!! hahaha

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  62. I had mine surgically extracted and I am still cursing the fucking day! Ugh I feel your pain and hope its better now :)

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  63. Hahahahaha. There was a long interval between the 1st two wisdom teeth I got removed and the second set. Apparently getting gassed is never in the cards for me b/c I'm allergic to one of the gas's ingredients. I got numbed (multiple times b.c it always wears off during the procedure) by needle instead and got to be wiiiide awake. My teeth coming out sounded like branches breaking.When I'm old and toothless, I'm gonna go to the nearest dentist's office and moon them while I wave my dentures in the air.

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  64. Hope you are feeling better!! The only teeth I've had out were my wisdom and I was put out for that. I would not want to hear them getting it out ;(

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  65. Oh my gosh, such an entertaining post. You make me laugh. :) Whaaaa, you swallowed some gauze?! Ok, that is like a huge fear of mine... having something fall down my throat when I'm there :( Ugh. I just had a filling on Wednesday morning. This was my second filling and it had been like 6 years so I totally forgot how much it sucks to have half a frozen face!! I couldn't rub my lips together for like 5 hours lol. But a tooth extraction is worse, for all of the above reasons. :) xx hope it's feeling better!

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  66. I'll let you know in a couple months what I would rather do... Lol! I don't like any sort of pain or dealings in my mouth and I hate how long the pain/symptoms linger! So I definitely feel your pain! I hope your feeling better :)

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  67. Well, I will say this; I HAVE had a baby, twins actually, and the extraction I had today is no comparison. You are dead on with your descriptions and memes. Love it! I was literally laying here feeling sorry for myself (dramatic?--nah) then , this made me feel a tiny bit better. Glad to know I'm not the only strong woman who is still afaid of the dentist and all his tools! Thank you!!!

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    Replies
    1. oh my gosh Jodi, thank YOU! i swear i felt like the only woman who was afraid of the dentist haha. tood to know birthing twins is not as bad ;)

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