When I was younger, this is what I pictured for my wedding:
And while we are at it, this is what I expected my house to be like:
The point of this post, you ask? My engagement ring.
I have seen some people look at me in pity when they see my ring. "Don't worry" they say, "you can get a bigger and better one when you all make more money." And to that I say, you're a virgin who can't drive.
It wasn't the Serendipity/Disney fairy tale ending I had dreamed about, but I was older and I knew what was important. What's important to me is that this guy and I spend the rest of our lives together. Simple. The difference is our story wasn't an ending, it was just the beginning (aw corny vomit).
I don't care what other people spend their money on - I really don't. Do what you want. What I do care about is when people think they have a say in how my husband and I spend our money. Yes my ring is small. My wedding was small. It was bigger than we would have done if it was just us paying for it, and it was awesome, but to some I missed out because we didn't do this or that. Some people looked down on us for Honeymooning in Vegas, instead of say, Europe. Some people look down on us because we have a small house, where the only people walking into our closets are the cats. Sure, we don't have brand new cars. Sure, I don't have designer clothes, and I'll probably never have a kitchenaid. Well, I do have a kitchenaid, but it's not as fancy.
But my point is.. You'd be surprised how many people think they can have an opinion, that they can comment on how we got engaged or the size of my ring.. You'd be surprised how many people think it's their business. And I hate to admit it, but sometimes they get to me. I feel like I got gypped, I feel like I am not doing enough, that I'm trying to compete against people I'm not even in the same league with. It gets me down, and that's not cool. It's especially hard when you are a blogger, I think, because it seems everyone in blogland is doing better, and you want to show off your life to make your blog more entertaining, and let's face it - we want people to look at our lives and be slightly jealous. Not change your life to copy it jealous, but to be like 'oh I wish I had that, wish I could do that, wish my house looked like that'. It's natural, but comparing is no fun.
Looking back on my life so far, it makes me smile, it makes me happy. Looking down at my ring makes me happy. That's what I want. That's all I've ever wanted. To be happy. I'm not saying the size of the ring is in direct correlation to my happiness (though there's this), but people butting in and telling me that it is and I would be happier if I had a bigger this or that.. well that doesn't make me happy. Not having to work all the time, like I used to, makes me happy. Looking forward to an amazing (albeit short) trip to NYC where I get to meet my blogging bestie makes me happy. Spending a whole day reading, or perusing a used bookstore makes me happy. Not being sick makes me happy. Buying used furniture to save a buck and make it ours makes me happy. Having 3 cats makes me happy.
Sure, sometimes I wish my house was a bit bigger so I could turn a formal dining room into a library. I wouldn't mind a shinier car, and a bigger closet. I wish I could drop everything and travel the world. I want a new couch, and to turn our current 'junk room' into a pretty office. But you know what? I freaking love my life. What a great life we have! I wouldn't change a thing.
Small engagement ring and all.
Does your life make you happy? Do you have people judging decisions you've made?