Friday, September 26, 2014

Thoughts while running

Like every other runner in blogland, I thought I would share some of the thoughts I have while running... I promise I'm not making this stuff up.

Ugh. Why am I so lazy? This is easy. I should do this more often.

Running is totally easy.

Running is basically walking, but faster, and I walk all the time.

Is that an acorn? It looked like an acorn. Are they real things? Do squirrels really eat them? I should go back for it. But I think I stepped on it. Sorry squirrel.

Oh shit. Is that dog tied up or is it comingstraightatmeandgoingtoeatme ok calm down it's tied to the tree and is not even as tall as your ankles.

Ok, running is less easy than I remember. I wonder if I'm almost at a mile. A mile is good, right? 1 mile is better than nothing, I should turn around.

No Kristen, don't turn around. But don't turn down that street either, because there's a really big hill and you have to run back up it.

Why, why, why did you turn down the hill street? Don't you listen?

Ow. Ow. Ow. Hills are stupid.

Huzzah! 1 mile down. I can make it to 2, and 2 miles is a perfectly respectable distance.

Kristen, you can do more than 2 miles. Remember when you used to run 6 miles everyday?

Oh my god, get over yourself Kristen. You did that for one week 3 years ago.

Well, you can do it again. Don't you wanna be skinny?

No, self, I want to be healthy & fit. So there. Sticks tongue out.

Hope no-one saw that.

Is it 2 miles yet? How is this lasting forever?

I am so slow, I might as well be walking.

Ooh, walking sounds good.

I hate running. Why do I run? I don't even enjoy it.

Running is hard.

It is really hot out here.

Im dying. Legit, dying. My body is giving up.

I'm near the house, I could head back and 2 miles would be good. I can run longer tomorrow. That's a good idea, yes, let's do that.

Hmm, they just got their driveway redone and their lawn is immaculate. where do you think you live? This aint fancyville.

Ok, almost home and almost at 2 miles. Wait, what are you doing? Why are you turning down that street? That's not home!

Ugh. Ok, 3 miles it is. 3 miles is easy peasy lemon squeazy and it's just a short run Kristen. You have a half marathon coming up.

I'm a runner! I'm running! Remember when I didn't run? Look at me run! I am INVINCIBLE.

Is that a chicken bone? Gross.

Ugh that house seriously needs to mow their lawn and get rid of all the shit and broken down cars everywhere. Making the neighbourhood look bad. This aint shitsville y'all.

So many bugs stuck to me right now. I'm basically a windshield.

Glad I stole KC's sunglasses. I really should be wearing a full wetsuit and baklava to protect myself from the sun, because australian = skin cancer.

Um, I think you meant balaclava Kristen. You gonna put a dessert on your head?

Mmm, baklava. Yum.


No Kristen, that's all in your head. Keep going. Mind over matter.

Oh hi breeze, hi downhill. I love you.

Shit, another person. I hate that awkward should I smile and wave because I always half smile half grimace and I'm sure I just look constipated.

Ugh, One Direction. As if this is on my playlist, I totally would never have put this on here, total accident.

If only you saw what I could see, you'll understand why I want you so desperately, right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe you don't knooouhohooww, you don't you're byoootifulll - uhhohhh that's what makes you beautyfullll..

Kristen, if you're singing and dancing, you're not running. Focus.

nananananananana - sing it boys!

Ok, almost at 3 miles. Start heading towards home.

3 miles! And stop. Oh my god I am going to die.

Why did you stop SO FAR FROM HOME I have to walk another minute wtf Kristen.

Oh my god, my whole body is throbbing.

Can't breathe. Must. sit. down.

Ok, I'm fine. Yay me! Not even sore.

I love running. I should do it again tomorrow.

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  1. Hahaha! Getting ready to head out on a long run and I'm sure I will have most, if not all of these thoughts. It takes me 4 or 5 miles to get through the initial suckage and all I can think during that time is usually "This is good for now, I can just do more tomorrow" haha

  2. i still need more convincing that running is fun! ;)

  3. HAHAHA back when I used to run, it always sounded so easy until I actually got started. Then the remainder of the run was filled with self-loathing. It's amazing how quickly you forget that it sucks :)

  4. Haha, I love this! I think it's all the random things that go through my mind while I'm running that keeps me entertained just enough to forget I'm actually running. It's amazing that after every single run the last thought its always "Oh, I'm still alive. Running isn't so bad after all!"

  5. When I run I have to play mind games with myself "okay after this song you can see how long it's been.....only .2 of a mile whaaaat????" I always feel like I'm running against the drives me crazy!

  6. HA!!! This so so cute. For someone who runs as much as you do, I kind of thought you would have much happier thoughts going through your head than this! I hate running so, I figured people who love it have a lot of, "look at me go! I'm on a runner's high! Endorphins for the win!" kinds of thoughts going through their head instead of these! And it's fine to admit you like One Direction. We'll still love you anyway. <3

  7. hahaha laughing so hard reading this! I am exactly the same!

  8. Omg... this is freaking hilarious and soooo true! My head is constantly fighting myself while I'm running. Great post.

  9. Mine are similar. :) I do run-walk intervals (run 4 min, walk 1, I actually end up with faster times than if I ran the whole thing.) so I'm often thinking "you only need to run to the time, not the distance. The distance will take care of itself. Just a few more minutes. Oh, look our turnaround point!" And if it's on the treadmill, I pretend that each mile I'm just warming up and it's the first easy mile (it was the only way to do a 2AM 18 mile training run. I had to play mental games with myself.)

    I also really like the Zombies, Run! App, because it has a story to think about inbetween your songs on the play list and so it keeps me occupied. Not to mention if you get a zombie chase (you have to run faster for one minute to outrun them, it tracks you on GPS, so it can tell if you don't - and they WILL catch you if you don't) all my thoughts turn to cussing at that point. :)

  10. Hahaha this is amazing. I almost felt like I was reading my own thoughts while running! Especially the "hope no one saw that" ;) Happy Friday!

  11. Bahaha! I love this! :) I am definitely not a runner, so I'm pretty sure my thoughts would be along the line of 'what the hell was I thinking?!' lol.

  12. I am with on you on judging other peoples lawns and driveways. I also hate it when someone's car is parked in their driveway and on the sidewalk.. There is plenty of room for them to pull up further but now I have to run into the street with my jogging stroller.. not easy. Sometimes I see random dead birds also, very gross.

  13. Lol, so basically you don't get that 'runner's high' that I keep hearing about?... I think that's just a runner's way of getting people to run with them. Urban myth!


  14. Love it!! I think you should email buzzfeed and tell them you want to write for them because this could have been a buzzfeed article!!

  15. Haha Kristen, you are so hilarious! I love the baklava part.

  16. That's hilarious! Love the range of emotions.

  17. So funny, and your mind sounds like mine! I start out kicking butt, then feel like I'm dying, then ready again haha

  18. HAHAHA OMG girl, I died laughing reading this. My thoughts would be "OMG why am I doing this?. Are there zombies behind me? If not I should walk. I should definitely walk. Walking is like running but slower. Slow and steady wins the race, right? Ok, I'm going to walk.... can someone give me a ride home now??" Happy Friday love!!

    <3, Pamela

  19. Oh my, you have me laughing so hard! I wish I could remember the random shit I think about while running! Runners are weird, really weird.

  20. This is perfect! Totally expresses the emotions of running! I go through the same "I am runner, hear me roar" and "I am going to DIE!" feelings every time I run!

  21. YUP. my personal favorite - I am so slow, I might as well be walking. that's me all day.

  22. Haha! This is great and so relatable lol. Have a great weekend!

  23. Hahahahhaa omg I can't stop laughing you kill me! My thoughts while running are more like I feel like I'm going to die and I can't breath hahahaha! Have a great weekend girl!

    <3 Shannon

  24. This is great... mine's usually going from Praising God to cursing... which is so messed up :)

  25. Haha! Seriously so many of these go through my head when I run. I totally have to convince myself to keep going.

  26. Haha I can't believe my ADD self seriously stuck with that whole post - must be mildly entertaining ;) You kill me - and good job on the run!

  27. I am a runner and I approve this message.
    No but seriously, completely right on. Some days I'm better, but on other days I have quite a few "What are you even doing out here? Running is so dumb. Why are you even bothering?" moments. I think we all do! But then the "I'M A RUNNING CHAMPION" moments, no matter how misguided they are, make you forget about those other ones :)

  28. "....I should do it again tomorrow" hahaha you rock!!

  29. hahahaaha!! This is so funny and totally the things I can relate to when I was running. There were even tons of thoughts while treadmill running. Great job remembering all this stuff for our entertainment.

  30. 3 miles is good! And props to you for not turning back when you could have. I would have definitely started walking.

  31. HAHA! I've been running for a few weeks now. and when I say running I mean walking and occasionally running. I've been listening to audio books to dristract myself, otherwise I'm too busy hating myself for how horribly out of shape I am.

  32. "Shit, another person. I hate that awkward should I smile and wave because I always half smile half grimace and I'm sure I just look constipated." Lol I think this every single time I pass by a human being. I actually imagined you running and your facial expression changing as I read each thought, hahaha.

  33. This. All.these.things are exxxxxactly what I'm thinking when I'm running. It's like you're in my head, knowing my thoughts.

    But I always wave at other physical activity participants AND at cars who cross the center line to give me extra space when I'm road running.

  34. Hahahaha all of these thoughts are so true! I do the same things, especially the thoughts along the lines of "running is easy...totally easy...despite what the crushing pain in my side is telling me...piece of cake...". But seriously running is awesome. I am painfully out of shape now, but it used to be that I could achieve runner's high almost every time. Do you get that? Where you get to a point where you are kind of elated and feel like you could go forever?

  35. "Im dying. Legit, dying. My body is giving up." Bahahah! My thoughts would allllll be along this line. Either that, or: "Fuck!"

  36. You should hear my thoughts when riding a bike... it sounds a little like...

    "PEDDLE FASTER YOU FAT FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

    Reasons why I don't work out. I get really nasty at myself. Give me food. Please. Because when I shovel good food in my mouth.... my head is all.. mmmm, thatta girl...

    PFFT! Yah right. When I am shoveling good food in my mouth, my heads all...


    I love my brain :)

  37. hahaha this was hilarious! Isn't it funny how at the end, it doesn't seem like it was THAT bad, even though while it's happening I'm pretty sure I'm going to turn back at any second.

  38. also! love the new blog design + sidebar photo!

  39. haha, i loved this. especially the one direction mentions because i'll be honest i'm a massive fangirl.

  40. HaHa - I was laughing so hard reading this (my husband just shakes his head when I read blogs!!). Hooray for getting in 3 miles!!! An,d I love the glimpse into your head while you run.

  41. Haha this is bloody hilarious! Good on ya though, I hate running with a passion.

  42. LOL, I hate running and I swear all the talk that goes through my head when I'm doing it, is mostly "I hate this shit, I hate running, why am I doing this" etc. Hence the reason I don't run, BUT I have so much respect for runners.

  43. Too funny!!! I must do one of these!!


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