They said what now?

Yep. I'm throwing every person who has ever asked me a stupid question or made a stupid remark about Australia under the bus.

In the most loving way possible, of course.

Almost all of these are asked with either genuine interest, or people think they are being funny. I get it, and I don't get mad. I just thought it would be fun to share.

Do you have a pet koala?

Just, no.

Did you ride kangaroos to school?

Do you ride deer?

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Does it rain there?

What the actual fudge.

Do you have electricity there?

...

How do you drive on the other side of the road??

I get this, it's hard to wrap your head around. But we also drive on the other side of the car so everything flips, it's not like we are driving on the other side of the road for fun. And when it's how you learn, it's how you learn. We're not screaming and scared we're gonna die because we're on the 'wrong' side of the road.

It's hard though, sometimes I forget. Only when there are no cars on the road, because I use them to figure out which side of the road I should be on. So when there are no cars, it's like second nature to go to the left.

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Person: Do you have places like this?
Me: Like what?
Person: You know, streets with shops.
Me: I can't even.

A dingo ate my baby!

I get that there was a joke on Seinfeld and it was a movie, but is an incredibly insensitive thing to say. The true story is heartbreaking.

Do the toilets flush the other way?

My favourite is when they argue with me. Bitch, I know my own country and it's toilets.

Oooh I want to go to New Zealand!

Yeah they aren't the same. I want to go to New Zealand too, let me know how you like it.

What part of England are you from?

The part that they send convicts to.

Seriously though, you won't believe how often I get this. I don't mind :)

Do you have a North and South there?

Perhaps this was meant in a Civil War type way. Or a BBC show type way.

any excuse to use this gif

How did you survive with all the deadly animals? Everything is trying to kill you!

Every country has animals and shit that can kill you. I lived in the city and the only deadly things I saw in my lifetime were red back spiders (so effing small you'll never see them) and funnel web spiders. holy shit balls no wonder I'm afraid of spiders.

When do you celebrate Christmas?

At Christmas.

How come the seasons are different? In winter, is it hot? In summer, is it cold?

Yeah we just up and changed the meanings of seasons.

Yeah but why are the seasons different?

Because, Science bebe.

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Why do you spell it like that / call it that instead of how we do it or what we say?

I didn't invent the English language.

Whatever you are speaking isn't the English language.

You speak and write American English. I speak and write British English. Get over it...

Ooh, say this or say that! Say 'put another shrimp on the barbie!'

It's called a prawn, hello...

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Do you have gay people there? If not, I want to go there.

Ask the first person you see in Australia this question. I doubt you'll make it much further than that.

You're not from Australia, you don't have an accent.

Tell me I'm not from Australia again. Do it.
Also, I do have an accent, thankyouverymuch. I just don't sound like Crocodile Dundee. We all have different accents, just like someone from NYC isn't gonna sound like someone from the deep south. Know what I mean?

Hey I know a friend of a friend's cousin's uncle - his name is John Smith. Do you know him?

Yeah, tall guy right? Has hair, wears tshirts sometimes?

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Side note: I get this one all the freaking time. And when I was in Australia and met an American (or Canadian, cause why not!) I'd ask where they were from. They'd say California or something, and I'd be like 'I know people in Kentucky'. Cause we're all the same.

Why the heck are you in KY if you are from Australia?

Cause America is a beaut, mate. And I love it. Plus, home is where the heart is.

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