Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Confessions

Humpday! I never say humpday but I have no problem writing it. When I say it, I think of humping. When I write it I think of Kathy, and Ian. Not together. Or maybe together.

Vodka and Soda

The other day I had a dream that I had bangs. I woke up in a cold sweat.

You know that awkward almost about to sneeze and then it goes away? I do that way more than I sneeze, and even though I don't sneeze, it makes my nose runny. 


If I do sneeze, it makes my nose runny. So basically I'm a toddler with a never ending runny nose. Except I can blow my nose. And I do. A lot. Be thankful you have never heard that sound, it is not pretty. Or so I have been told.

because I sound like a trumpet. get it?
Sometimes when I click on someone's blogger profile and it has seventy billion blogs under 'my blogs' I get super overwhelmed and X out. Why for so many blogs?

I am terribly bitter about never being a bridesmaid. The saying is not 'once a bride never a bridesmaid'. It's ok, I understand...


A funny story I forgot to mention yesterday, in 2010 I met this friend of a friend and after being told I was from Australia, she said to me

But you look normal. I mean, you look American.

I'm sorry WTF?! I'm still a human bean, you idjit.


Everytime I see a pickle: Why did I get a pickle? I didn't ask for a pickle. Why do I have a pickle on my plate? Excuse me I didn't order this pickle. Take this pickle away! Does someone want my pickle?

Sooo I googled something like 'is it 5pm yet gif' because I'm lazy and guess what came up??



Crazy right?! Apparently not, it was from my blog and last weeks confessions. I think I am using this gif too much - hands up if you're over it already (put those hands down!)?

Remember Millie the cutest kitty ever? Well she is the worlds most annoying kitty and she's gonna be kicked out of our family if she doesn't smarten up. Ok, half joking. But seriously, girlfriend has some crazy hardcore loud pipes. Her meows (screams / cries) can be heard throughout the entire house and KC and I are joking (whilst crying ourselves) that she's like a newborn baby. Its terribly inconvenient, we give her all the attention, then leave and she cries and cries and cries, we come back in and she keeps crying. I even tried to sleep in the room on the floor and she decided that wasn't good enough screaming HUMAN YOU MUST PLAY WITH ME but I play and she zonks out for 5 mins because hello she is a kitten and she's tired after playing all day but seriously I'm losing my mind guys. How can something so cute and little be so annoying? Seriously, if this is what a baby is like, nothankyou.




Don't forget the giveaway! And it's mandatory to send me the flats when you win. Jk, jk.

56 comments:

  1. SERIOUSLY re: the pickle. Yuck. The worst is when the pickley juice gets all over your regular food and you either have to power through with your pickle-flavored fries or sandwich or just come to terms with the fact that half of your plate has been wasted. (Also, I always try to give it away. And I make them pick it up. No pickley hands for me. No thank you.)

    I'm so glad someone else understands.

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  2. Aw :( I almost-sneeze a lot too so you're not alone. And I'm sorry about Millie because she really is the cutest thing ever. Have y'all tried letting her sleep in y'alls room to see if she quits cryin? Justa thought

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  3. i've never been a bridesmaid either and i'm glad. i heard it's stressful and expensive and you have to do all kinds of stuff/planning etc which gets in the way of more important things like lying around and being lazy.

    thanks for linking up!
    -kathy
    Vodka and Soda

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  4. LMFAO... I say idjit. And my guess about the blogger profiles and following so many blogs is because they follow for a follow... feel me??

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  5. Hahaha, you look American, hilarious!!!

    And when there is more than two blogs, I ex out too. Way tooo much to figure out!

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  6. Not gonna lie, when my BFF didn't ask me to be a bridesmaid I was unbearably bitter (and by was I mean I still am). She explained that it was because the groom couldn't find 3 guys to be best men and so she had to pick 2 of the 3 of her close friends and 1 was her sister and the other was a local friend, where I was far away...
    TL;DR: my BFF didn't pick me to be a BM and I'm still bitter.

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  7. silly question, but do you like/are used to ice in drinks in restaurants? i can't stand when i click on a profile and cannot find the blog. it's not linked anywhere! this is usually on google plus. boo.

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  8. I just took the plunge recently and got bangs, the side-swoopy-kind. But I had an itch to cut ALL of my hair off and my wonderful stylist suggested something a little less drastic, hence the bangs. And I am loving them. It was just the change I needed to stop the crazy cut-all-my-hair-off talk. ;)

    I will never get tired of that gif ... because it's amazing!

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  9. Oh I love the pickles, lol. I don't like when I can't find where to click on the persons blog either and then when you have a link to a blog with a new name you want me to click on? Just update your link!! So thankful I haven't had to be a bridesmaid but I'm sad when others want to be and aren't asked. I think not being asked long ago is one of the reasons I'm not a fan of weddings. Bitter party of one.

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  10. I never say Humpday out loud, basically because I think it's dumb, but I do in Blogland. It's weird, but it works!

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  11. I love that GIF.. keep using it as often as you like! It makes me want to watch Pride and Prejudice everyday. I need to watch it now!

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  12. I think my favorite part of this post is googling "is it 5pm yet" and landing on something from your OWN BLOG!! LOLFORDAYSSSSSS. Maybe I need to see the movie (er...wait, is it a TV series? I forget because I haven't seen it) that the gif is from so I can understand what's going on there and how it relates to 5pm. Or maybe it doesn't?

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  13. Oh no! Who would have guessed that world's cutest kitty would also be world's most annoying kitty?! I hope she grows out of that soon. Don't be too sad about not being a bridesmaid. It can be kinda stressful and definitely expensive! It's fun and I'm definitely thankful to have been in some of my friend's weddings but it's not a bad thing just observing and being there! And girl, my nose runs constantly so you are not alone there!

    <3, Pamela
    sequinsandseabreezes.blogspot.com

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  14. Aww I'm sorry Millie keeps crying! Hopefully once she gets a little older she'll grow out of it. If it makes you feel better, my dogs are constantly barking out the window at other dogs and it drives me insane!

    -Sharon
    The Tiny Heart

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  15. Love the Awkward and Supernatural gifs today :) Sorry your kitty is being annoying!! My dog sometimes likes to wake us up at 3 am to go potty. Not fun. But at least he's not keeping us up all night crying!

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  16. You said Idget OMG I have not heard that in soooo long!
    Um yes that is what a newborn is like... we got a kitten and I told my bf I have already went through the newborn stage twice with my 2 kids, I wasnt ready to do it again much less so with an animal. Our kitty ran away after that....she must of heard me saying how annoying she was.

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  17. Girl I mean if you want to be a bridesmaid I just happen to know someone who is getting married and could make that happen for you..... ;-) Sorry to hear that about Millie! I didn't know kitties were that demanding. I am so use to them playing with you on their terms and then going straight back to ignoring you.....that is how it has always been in my experience lol

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  18. That bunny, so freaking adorable. And YES, I hate those darn fake sneezes. Oh no Millie! Well... if she gets evicted, I'll give you my address ;)

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  19. Girl you are cracking me up!! Having to sneeze and it not coming out is the worst!! As for not being a bridesmaid - count your lucky stars lol! Not but seriously - sometimes it's a pain!

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  20. You do look oddly normal for being Australian, I always thought that was strange... :P

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  21. I did the same awkward sneeze thing. Oh and I've got the most idiotic comments regarding me being from Trinidad so I totally understand.

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  22. One of my BFF's was just complaining to me about how her cat will be a little jerk and knock everything off the dresser for hours in the morning until she's fed. Why are cats such jerks ?! Kidding...mostly.

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  23. I hate when I'm about to sneeze and make a scary ugly face and then....nothing! Sometimes I just pretend to sneeze after the scary almost sneeze face because I don't want people to think that I am spazzing out.

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  24. Haha! Thanks for starting my day off with some laughs!

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  25. Haha the almost sneeze is the worst! And such a weird comment about being American. That girl must have never met anyone from any other country, ever. Kind of embarrassing for the rest of us. Love the last gif because I have been watching Friends non-stop lately.

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  26. You always crack me up! I love the GIFs. I just watched Friends last night. Best show ever.

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  27. "But you look American".... Lord help that person!! Once, after a breakup, I got these terrible Russian-model bangs. I WISH THAT HAD BEEN A DREAM.

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  28. The almost sneeze is the worst! My eyeballs always start watering when that happens. You just keep using that gif and maybe one day I'll actually watch the show that it's from so I can see it myself :)

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  29. I do the sameee thing when someone has a bunch of blogs. Do you think I'm really going to take the time to click on each link to find the one you are currently using? Umm no thanks!

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  30. That bunny is too cute! Hate the almost sneeze though. Being a bridesmaid is really expensive, you are not missing much! The multiple blogs are crazy, I can barely manage one!!

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  31. Me! I want your pickle! Give me! I was pissed at Jack Brown's last week because they didn't give us pickles, and theirs are my favorite!

    You do look normal....haha.

    LOL @ your annoying kittttaaayyy! Welcome to my world! Chris has threatened to get rid of Livvy several times. I think its a bluff but I told her she should be more mindful. Silly cats!

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  32. Haha we need to go out to eat together because I'm the opposite with: where's my pickle?! MMM a pickle! *staring at everyone else's pickle* I wonder if they're gonna eat that pickle... Can I have your pickle?

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  33. your confessions are all over the place (and I love it) thanks for a great laugh today, pickle and all :) cheers!

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  34. I've been a bridesmaid once before and now my brother is getting married and I'm a bridesmaid again but I told my brother I don't want to be maid of honour because I think that's a job that your bff should do but now my dad is insisting that I can't a bridesmaid for anyone else because "3 times a bride... etc" but I'm annoyed that I will now never be a Maid of Honour :(

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  35. OMG the dang screaming kitten syndrome is unbelievable. Olivia was the same way! We ended up locking her out of our room for a while, but a lot of times I'd offer her food and it would shut her up. We kept a second bowl of cat food in our bathroom for a while and after a few (long ass) months she finally stopped for good. Try Googling this asap! Millie must stay ;) Also you need one of those syringe thingies you can just suck your runny nose right up. So what if they are for babies ha.

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  36. Bahahaha! I would want to strangle that cat! And I agree, if that's what a kid is like, nooooo thank you! She must be a needy little bitch, I mean, kitten :) I can't believe you've never been a bridesmaid! Maybe someday soon?! Honestly though.... your not missing out on a damn thing! Or at least speaking from my experiences its nothing but a bunch of catty bitches :) I can't even believe someone would say that about looking like an American! What. The. F! :)

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  37. I was a bride way way way before anyone ever asked me to be a bridesmaid. Truthfully, it's overrated. Be thankful you get to spend your $$ and time on something else ;)

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  38. Omg I seriously can't deal with you! I'm cracking up! Just that random first line you had a dream you had bangs and woke up in a cold sweat hahahahah god I love you! What's with people being so weird with you because your Australian?! You look normal wtf?! Hahaha!!!!!!

    <3 Shannon
    Upbeatsoles.blogspot.com

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  39. Of COURSE that would come up when you looked up a gif :)
    That sneezing bunny is the cutest thing ever.

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  40. Ah the joy of needy kitties! I don't envy you one bit, I can't stand anything disturbing my sleep - I turn into a monster!

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  41. Bahahaha so Australians aren't normal??? Wtf??? Lol hilarious. I have two kitties and one of them seriously nudges me in the face with his paw for snacks in the morning. Furbabies can be so difficult sometimes haaha.

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  42. Give me all the pickles! Baby animals are so cute but they can be SO annoying. When our dog was a puppy and slept in his crate, it was in our room right next to the bed but that wasn't good enough...I had to sleep with my arm hanging off the bed so he knew I was there, and some nights that wasn't good enough and I had to sleep ON the floor next to him. Otherwise he cried allll night :(

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  43. ooooh pickles are the worst!!! There's this amazing burger place here that has a nasty habit of "forgetting" I asked for no pickle. The thing is they drape the pickle over the top of the bun and more than once my burger has come back with out the pickle on top BUT I can see the pickle juice remains!! It's a good thing their burgers are beyond tasty or else I'm not sure I could handle it!!

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  44. Woah I can barely keep up with my one blog. How do people have so many?!

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  45. I never want pickeles either but then I eat all my food and sit there looking at my plate and then I eat the stupid pickle.
    And thats so funny that the gif came up and it was your blog...lol.

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  46. I bet you'll get the chance to be a bridesmaid one day. Haha If not one plus is that you don't have two long ballgowns hanging in your closet in the colors red and yellow....In case you were wondering neither of the colors suited me and I had a cold when I had to wear the red one. The yellow one I wore 10 days after having a baby lol. XO

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  47. LOL! Yes, when we got our second cat, our other one was a little older, and we'd forgotten how annoying kittens can be. He's still a cry baby at 5:30 every morning. Ugh.

    You make me want to rewatch North and South.

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  48. I hate it when I lose a sneeze! I may be the weirdest human alive, because I love sneezing. My husband goes out of his way to make me "lose a sneeze" and it is annoying and sad! ha!

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  49. Okay so when you're here we better go out to eat somewhere where you end up with a pickle because my favorite people to eat with are the people who unwittingly order meals that come with a pickle and don't like pickles because I LOVE pickles and I will always try to take them off other peoples plates. Always.

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  50. you crazy, i love pickles! sorry about your kitty, i remember when rigby was little, we definitely wanted to take him to the farm a few times... luckily he grew up and stopped being so obnoxious ;)

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  51. I cannot believe your own blog came up when you searched for something! Though that's a pretty good sign, I'd say! I have the same issue-- I get the almost sneeze and never actually sneeze, so annoying! Millie sounds like my parents cat- though they don't have a kitten! He literally thinks he's a person and determines their sleeping schedules daily!

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  52. Girlllll, I have a similar reaction to bangs... NOT a good look for me!

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  53. Lmao. I sneeze a lot and it is loud as fuck. I don't understand how people can sneeze so softly or hold that shit in. Let it out, bro!

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  54. haha that little bunny is the cutest thing on the freaking planet!!!!!!!!! I want him NOW!

    As for the normal comment .... I dont even have words...

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