Let's jump right in because I've really missed Kathy's link up. What shall we confess today?
I really dig Mandy Moore's music. Yep, throwing that one out there. I could break your heart any day of the week is a special fave. And of course, Candy.
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The other day I wrote an email and instead of Wing (like Wing 100, 200 etc not like birds) I wrote Wine. No-one said anything, so either everyone else agrees with my wine talk or they can't read.
On that same day, whilst dreaming about New York at Christmas, I answered the phone 'Something something Christmas speaking'. I called myself Christmas. The person on the other side of the phone didn't even notice.
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On Saturday night I went out and had a few bevvies. When I got home I fell over somehow... details not important. I fell on my head. Not my finest moment, and on Sunday and Monday I could barely move because my back hurt so bad. Feeling a bit better now and the doctor said I most likely 'bruised' it but no real damage. Just my pride.
Needless to say, Sunday was not a fun day for my head. or stomach.
Also, on Saturday some guy was a complete dick to me and then asked me for my number. I gave him $2 (I was drunk) and said 'go f*ck yourself'. Stalked off feeling all badass, I was quite proud, and now I'm like why did I give him $2?
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The UPS guy knows my name. Every day 'hey Kristen' and I'm like hey UPS guy. Side note: zero work packages come in my name. That's my online shopping problem at work right thurr.
I want to eat some boiled potatoes so that I can instagram it: What excellent boiled potatoes. It's been many years since I had such an exemplary vegetable.
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PS.
Cheerio folks. Is it 5pm yet?
LOL he must've been like: hmmm..no number but thanks for the $2! hahaha!
ReplyDeletethanks for linking up!
-kathy
Vodka and Soda
Haha I love that you have him $2....like whattt?
ReplyDeleteWhat is up with giving him $2 for being rude?! Haha! I shall now call you Christmas! We notice wine we just don't call you out on it, since we were thinking about it too! ;)
ReplyDeleteLOL $2?!?! That is freaking hilarious!! Hate that you woke up bruised and sore though. I think the details should have be shared....
ReplyDeleteMaybe you thought the $2 would make him go away faster? Love that you called yourself Christmas - maybe the person thought you said Kristen. Or that your name is Christmas for real... hmmmmm...
ReplyDeleteI watched the first 2 episodes of North and South Sunday morning. OMG, so good! I would have watched the entire series if I didn't actuly have to get off the couch and do things. Now I need my husband to be out one evening so I can watch the rest.
ReplyDeleteI CAN'T WAIT for new Doctow Who next month. Hands down, David Tennant is my Doctor. So many feels, every episode.
OMG! I love that you gave him $2, bwahaha! And the UPS guy knows your name...if I was home everyday my packages came I'm sure they would know mine but instead they're left there like little magic packages :)
ReplyDeleteLOL you gave the guy $2?!?! So random and hilarious! I guess he got the point. Or was really excited you just contributed to his beer fund LOL! And I'm glad you're feeling better! Falling while drunk is never fun the next day.... ever.
ReplyDelete<3, Pamela
sequinsandseabreezes.blogspot.com
The exemplary vegetable scene is one of my faaavvveeeeeess.
ReplyDeleteWe were talking about work one evening and my cell phone rang and I almost answered it like it was my work phone. I was so confused for the first minute of that conversation because of what I had done that I had no idea what the person was saying. Oops.
Not going to lie, I started playing Mandy Moore on Spotify as soon as I read this post ;).
ReplyDeleteMandy Moore?!? I forgot all about her!!! Lol! Candy was the JAM though!
ReplyDeleteDid you watch Ten's last episode and the Van Gogh episode back to back? Did you want to cry all the tears?!
ReplyDeleteI almost died laughing at the $2 you gave the drunk guy - sorry not interested but here's some money to ease the pain lol!! Sorry to hear you had to go to the doc to make sure your head was OK, but happy to hear you're feeling better!! xo
ReplyDeleteI'm craving for you...I'm missing you like Candy.....isn't that how it goes? Good stuff. Mandy is embarrassed by that song now and I just CAN'T imagine why. Also...let's work on a better comeback than giving a guy who asks for your number TWO DOLLARS!! LMAO!!! Oh Christmas, you crack me up!
ReplyDeleteGina- -On the Daily Express
Oh Candy, what a great song. How incredibly different is Mandy now?!!?
ReplyDeleteI love the $2 story, that's amazing!!
Feel better, muffin!
Geez, I'm glad you are ok from your fall! As always, these were funny! And I'm not laughing AT you, I'm laughing WITH you! ;-)
ReplyDeleteI love all of your stories! I literally laughed hearing you say that you answered the phone as Christmas. My name being Christina and all I totally get it. Also around Christmas time I have hard time not writing my name as Christmas or putting Merry Christina on everyone's Christmas cards.. its a tough life lol. Glad you are ok from the fall though.
ReplyDeleteLOL you're hysterical! Glad you're feeling better!
ReplyDeleteFunny stuff right there! I hope you're ok after your fall!! We've all been there!
ReplyDeleteLOL at pretty much all of these! So funny. I've totally done that while answering the phone! One time at a previous job, after sitting next door (cubicle) to a girl and hearing her answer "hello Tia speaking" alllll morning I picked up my phone at one point and said "hello Tia speaking!" haha I was so embarrassed. Clearly I was half asleep....
ReplyDeleteHaha that is really funny that you gave the guy $2! Maybe you asked him if he'd leave you alone if you gave him money? Drunken injuries are the worst...hope you're feeling better :)
ReplyDelete-Sharon
The Tiny Heart
I love Mandy Moore- No Shame! $2 huh? Like. A. Boss.
ReplyDeleteHahaha about calling yourself Christmas! I answered my own cell phone with the little greeting we had to give at work. "Thank you for calling...(caught myself)...uh, Lisa's phone. Hello??"
ReplyDeletehahaha i think we'd have a great time if we went out together in person. you sound somewhat (don't hate me) scatterbrained, LIKE ME, and i think it is so fun!!!! why would you give him two dollars?? maybe like "here's a buck go get a clue" kind of thing??
ReplyDeleteOh my God -- this entire post had me cry laughing. Giving the rude guy $2 while telling him to kindly f*ck himself really put me over the edge. So glad to have found your blog!!
ReplyDeleteLMAO Im dying laughing at you calling yourself Christmas!!!
ReplyDeleteHey Christmas! I think that's your new nickname btw! So many funny things in this post. You gave him $2!! Im laughing so hard at that. You rock!
ReplyDeleteI'm cracking up over the $2, hilarious! And Christmas speaking! Oh yes, Candy is my jam.
ReplyDeleteThat $2 makes me think of the kid from Better Off Dead! I WANT MY $2!
ReplyDeletewow, I use to love that Mandy Moore song back in the day! haha. So funny that you called yourself Christmas and that $2 bit is amazing! lol
ReplyDeleteHow did you fall on your head?!! LOL. Glad you are okay though! I remember we were supposed to sing Candy in my middle school choir class but someone complained about the lyrics not being appropriate-- not sure why that's a song we would sing in choir in the first place...haha
ReplyDeleteOMG, yes to Mandy Candy!
ReplyDeleteFirst time visiting your blog through the vodka soda link up and i laughed the whole way. And you SHOULD make some boiled potatoes. I love you for quoting that line from that movie. I can and do watch P&P over and over and over.
ReplyDeletehahahahahahahaha seriously I am dying laughing. I sometimes get aggressively mean when drinking and I could so see myself doing that and throwing money at him "I mean I'm throwing money at the situation to make it stop".....sounds perfectly logical to me. I'm glad you and your UPS man are besties......my UPS guy hates me after I stalked his ass out of Chipotle one night. I needed those shoes he was holding captive on his truck.....dinner needed to wait.....
ReplyDeleteThank you for that Mandy Moore reminder. I just looked up her first album on Spotify and am now dancing in my swivel office chair!
ReplyDeleteYou crack me the hell up. So you did go to the doctor? Ah you better get better soon, take whatever rest you need and see about stretches or something. Light yoga might help! Also, oh my god, giving the guy $2... you're amazing. And I'm going to call you Christmas now.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh. Now I have Candy stuck in my head. Love it! I am cracking up at picturing you throwing $2 at a guy. It totally sounds like a badass move. haha. I'm sorry you weren't feeling well!
ReplyDeleteLOL Christmas :) That is too funny! I'm pretty sure our UPS guy thinks I have some kind of shopping disorder (we get all of our stuff at home). Hope you feel better soon. I once fell when P and I first started dating (after drinking but I was not drunk...my heel caught on my jeans), he still brings it up and threatened forever that I was going to have to wear a helmet when drinking :)
ReplyDeleteIt cracks me up you keep using the North South gif :) Keep it up - you're going to make me break & read it!
ReplyDeleteI so laughed at the $2 ... that's awesome :) Thank God it wasn't more!
Look at Mandy Moore as a tiny baby :) A walk to Remember - my fav every time.
Hahaha OMG! I love that you have him $2 to go fuck himself with! I'm dying over here.
ReplyDeleteEverything about that post made me die laughing.
ReplyDeleteLOL this post is amazing! I love that you gave that drunk guy $2! HA! Oh man and you fell that night too! Must have been a night of epic proportions. And while I'm thankful that all these things happened, becuase if they didn't we wouldn't be able to laugh about them so much, but in all honesty, I really hope you are feeling better after your fantastic bender!
ReplyDeleteNo i'm laughing so hard! Why the $2??!?! glad your back is ok- just bruised (:
ReplyDeleteI was like YEAH tell him girl...wait why the $2? LOLOLOL Hilarious.
ReplyDeleteA couple of years ago I went out drinking, came home and fell over while trying to yank my boots off. I got stitches so consider yourself lucky!!!
ReplyDeleteYou confessions had me dying laughing! Sorry to hear you fell on your head, but giving that guy $2 is great. I don't know why you would have done it but it sort of makes me want to do that.. Just to see the look on the person's face!
ReplyDeleteHahah I wish I worked with you. I have a feeling it would be quite enjoyable/entertaining. How does one eat a boiled potato? Like, boil it and then cut it with a fork and knife? I'm obsessed with mashed potatoes so this could be potentially amazing ha.
ReplyDeleteI almost never hear the name of the person who answers the call so I can only imagine what some of them say lol
ReplyDeleteHaha love that you gave the guy $2!! The things we do when we're a few drinks in... haha! Hope you're feeling back to normal soon!
ReplyDeleteBahahaha that's hilarious that you randomly gave that guy $2. And ouch!! Falling on your head doesn't seem like a good time!! I hope you feel better soon! If not by tomorrow, it'll be National Tequila Day...sooo there's that. ;)
ReplyDeleteNice post, Christmas. I am with Shelby, wished we worked together you'd entertain me all day long and we could make a fashion runway for you to show off your new clothes via UPS delivery!
ReplyDeleteThe fact that you gave him $2 is cracking my shit up right now!!! bahahahha
ReplyDeleteWas this said guy homeless?? LOL
ReplyDeleteMaybe it was worth $2 for him to leave you alone?
ReplyDeleteyou made me laugh out loud with these confessions! and i'm pretty much with you on all of them. :)
ReplyDeleteLMFAO! Oh Christmas, this is why yours is one of my favorite blogs. And the $2? Dying! One of these days you and I will meet up and get our drink on and it will be EPIC!
ReplyDeleteOMG dying at your Freudian slips!
ReplyDeleteI've heard so much about Doctor Who I am seriously tempted to watch it. I feel like if I started watching it I would understand a lot more social references
ReplyDeleteI adore your posts Kristen! Always so funny - man that line about the vegetables made me crack up! I've also once ended an email like this 'vs,o;a' because i was on the wrong key alignment on my keyboard...no one said anything...
ReplyDeleteOooh girl, sounds like someone had wayyy more than a few bevvies ;-) what happened?! Are you OK now? Also, you threw it way back with Mandy Moore. Is that her "Candy" video? I loveeeed that song, haha!
ReplyDeleteMany Moore's "Candy" popped up on my playlist for the first time since about 2001 just this week! Not gonna lie, my first thought was, "OHHHH!! This was my JAM when I was 16!" and it promptly got cranked :)
ReplyDeleteI found you via your button at Meet @ The Barre and am excited to follow along!
www.anuncomplicatedlifeblog.com
Bahahahah... dyyyying over you giving the guy $2!!!!
ReplyDeleteMandy Moore talks shit about Candy all the time and it pisses me right off. THAT SONG IS A CLASSIC - GO WASH YOUR WHORE MOUTH OUT WITH SOAP!
Oh Christmas...If I'm a dick to you will I get 2 bucks?...I guess I'd rather be friends so you keep your dollars for the next dick you decide needs your charity ;)
ReplyDeleteOh I love this so hard. I was laughing so hard I started coughing. How do you think a restaurant would feel if I had packages delivered to me there. Lolol.
ReplyDelete